Jenny McCarthy Offers Hope To Mothers: Part 2!

I wrote a post about Jenny McCarthy offering hope to some mothers a couple of months ago... Yes, I understand that was risky. You either love her or hate her, right?

Well, it turns out, some thought that opened me up to a debate on vaccinations. The post really wasn't supposed to be about vaccinations... it was about hope, hope that so many in the anti-Jenny camp rape mothers of. Hope that our children CAN function normally...

I understand, our kids will always see the world through different colored glasses, but they can function with proper support and unconditional love. This is the hope I want to instill in others... unlike, the hope that the diagnosing psychologist offered us by telling us our daughter would never have a meaningful relationship, work or live independently... if we didn't do her ABA program!

This post was about the hope Jenny offers. The strength she emits to some. It was to defend a fellow mother who has been criticized for 'speaking outside the box'. My most recent critic responded, "There is NO evidence to indicate that vaccinations cause autism. http://tinyurl.com/ylbnrpc Think critically. http://tinyurl.com/cxnbvv"

Well, I go could go on for a really long time about both of those statements, but this sums up my reaction:

I do think critically -- about a system that deems it perfectly safe to inject mercury into a pregnant woman, yet tell her not to eat tuna fish.

I think critically -- about a system that refuses 3rd party unbiased research.

I think critically -- about the people sitting behind a computer making these comments... I wonder who is paying them.

I think critically -- about the systems (including doctors who chelate) that are taking advantage of desperate mothers and families.

I think critically -- about how there is only one industry that the government says, "Hey, if your product injures or kills a child or baby... don't worry, we have your back. You are not responsible."

I think critically -- about the elephant in the middle of America's pestilence among it's children; and wonder why we continue to tip-toe around and defend it.

I think critically -- about much and often!!

Most importantly, I think critically -- about each calculated move I make in addressing my child's symptomatology (which happens to mimic mercury poisoning- but we won't go there [today]). I think critically about the cost of her traditional and non-traditional treatment, her education, her dietary needs, her spiritual needs, her emotional needs, cognitive needs, physical needs...

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Mothers, Will You Unite With Me?

Today is 9/9/09 and the voices of our children are about to be heard. I invite you to advocate for the one out of 100 children that are diagnosed with autism. I invite you to be the voice our children do not have. I invite you to be the straw that got the nation to listen!

Nothing ruffles my feathers more than when mothers start to ostracize each other because they have different perspectives on the etiology of autism. Instead of getting into heated debates we should be reaching out and saying, “We agree to disagree, now let’s get things done.”

Let me share with you my perspective.

I find that to say autism can’t be caused by vaccines because your child doesn’t have autism and is fully vaccinated a ridiculous statement. I think that for you to say it can’t be the RhoGam shot because your grandbaby is ‘normal’ and that your daughter got the same shots as I a close minded response. When people say statements like this to me I want to scream, “You are missing the point!”

Let me take a different angle... I started smoking when I was eighteen, and I tinkered with smoking throughout high school and was an avid smoker by the time entered college. For the next ten years, I consistently smoked… sometimes up to two packs a day (graduate school all nighters will do that to you). However, I do not have the dis-ease called lung cancer; why? I smoked and smoking causes cancer. So, is it logical for me to conclude that smoker must NOT cause cancer?

My point is this… just because your child didn’t regress into autism doesn’t mean that the risk and dangers aren’t there. I am not against vaccinations; I oppose the toxins and second most dangerous substance known to man being willingly shoved into our children and expectant mothers. Do you know what your child would be like it he hadn’t been vaccinated? Maybe he would have been even more extraordinary!

Most mothers I know would go to the ends of the Earth for what she believed to be the right thing for her child. I am asking us, mothers, to unite together and use this energy to create a shift. Not just on your home front but nationally.

Demand that the government, scientists, pharmaceutical companies, and media admit we have a national crisis among this generation of children. Demand that fetus, infants, toddlers, and children are no longer subjected to mercury. Demand that we get 3^rd party research from unbiased scientists. Demand that we get the tools we need to see that our children can live productive and healthy lives.

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Mother Rebel

I didn’t wake up one morning a mother rebel and decide to piss off all of my family and friends. In fact, I didn’t reveal my mothering style to anyone for many years (as it was a personal decision between my husband and me). It wasn’t until after I recorded my research and experiences in The Mother Consciousness that I started to openly talk about our lifestyle.

I entered my stance on holistic mothering with caution; researching as much literature that I could get my hands on. I have spent countless hours filtering through research articles, documents, online resources and books. I have read many different perspectives pertaining to different mothering and health practices. I have weighed out the facts, sifted through consequences, and rendered personal decisions.

I, also, put the energy forth to not take the inventory of other mothers whom views may differ from my own. However, I have made it my business to inform others about my findings… why?

Because… until I entered a conversation with a health care professional about vaccines, I didn’t know I had a right to question the constructs man had instituted upon mothers. I was naive to the mere fact that I had a right to make an educated mindful choice about the physical, emotional and spiritual well being of my off spring. After some self-discovery, I determined that I had the inherent right to raise my kids as I deemed in their best interest… even if that meant going against the grain. Empowered with knowledge and maternal instinct, I knew that some stranger in a white lab coat or Armani suit did not have the power to dictate how we were going to raise our children.

Man is fallible; if you want to know how I reached that conclusion read my book. In The Mother Consciousness I talk about the series of events that awakened the natural mother within me including the death of my father, the brutality of a cervical biopsy, being misinformed about the future of my ability to bear children, the sexual abuse in America, and more.

I do have a pet peeve with some of the mothers that have not made the decisions I have… not because they choose a different lifestyle, that is their right too. In all honesty, I usually keep my mouth shut about their practices in order to avoid the agonizing confrontation and I believe that you have the right to raise your kids how you see fit. However, after many discussions with other mothers who have similar perspectives and after talking with those who don’t, I conclude that many women in the holistic movement feel forced to defend their mothering philosophies.

I no longer have the energy to defend myself… until you have a child that is suspected to have a vaccine injury and until you have tried to participate in attachment / holistic mothering you cannot rationally condemn my perspectives. Frankly, if my mothering practices offend you, make you feel less than, or stimulate something uneasy in you, that is your issue not mine. Simply don’t read what I post here on my Alterna-mom blog, Twitter or Facebook. And certainly, don’t buy my book, The Mother Consciousness. I do not force this life style (which takes much energy and focus) on anyone. But, as a wellness educator, I will inform you so that you too can make an educated decision. And if that decision is different than the one I’d make, that is okay, because you made it mindfully.

I decided not vaccinate my children before autism was intimately in our lives.

I do associate the 3 injections of a vaccine they mandated I take because of my Rh negative blood to my daughter’s autism.

I understand that to vaccinate is a choice, not something that doctors or government should mandate or force you to do.

I believe it is illogical to put thimersol into a pregnant or lactating woman.

I acknowledge that natural immunity is far superior to the toxins forced into your infant and child’s body.

I question the effects of the mother’s vaccination history on her offspring.

I do think the breast is best.

I advocate that women nurse their children beyond infancy; the world average is 4 years.

I think it is normal for women to tandem nurse siblings that have resulted from single births.

I know the home is the best place to birth during an uncomplicated labor and delivery.

I correlate medication and institutionalized birthing to the pestilence of sickness among our children.

If I had had a son I would have left him whole and intact the way our creator intended him to be.

I think co-sleeping with your child fosters trust and security.

I know that the power that created the body has the power to heal the body.

I trust that a fever is an expression of health.

I understand that when a mother works away from the children they are exposed to possible abuse and neglect.

I know the mother is the best caregiver for her children.

If you are in alignment of my views, I am glad we have connected and look forward to expanding our Mother Consciousness together. If you are intrigued I am glad you have an open mind and invite you to learn more. If you cannot relate to any of this simply hit the x button, turn away and move on… don’t try to convince me my views are wrong and in return, I will not disrespect your views; let’s simply agree to disagree.

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Jenny McCarthy Offers Hope To Mothers!

Have you noticed that people either love Jenny McCarthy or hate her? Frankly, I didn’t know who Jenny McCarthy was until a friend suggested I Google her after she saw my daughter spinning and avoiding social contact more than 3 years ago. (At that point in our life we were still in denial; how dare she suggest my perfect daughter have autism!!)

It was a few days later when I finally asked my husband if he had heard of her. Of course he had… but it was from her MTV days and the description of that Jenny McCarthy certainly didn’t describe the woman my friend suggested I look up. I put it behind me and we continued on with our life.

My friend kept passively implying that Sahara had many characteristics of autism. I was seriously annoyed that this person has obviously reading into the many traits that were “just Sahara” to us. This feeling was only confirmed when the pediatrician said, “some kids just don’t talk until they are six years old... they just have delayed speech. She seems fine to me. Come back in six months.”

I do admit I had a nagging feeling that something was wrong. (This feeling began when I was pregnant with her... I chalked it up as typical fear that an expectant mother experiences.) It wouldn’t be until she was 3 ½ that we finally yielded to this maternal feeling to have her tested at the Public City School’s Special Needs Preschool. At the IEP meeting, I hit a brick wall. How could I have not seen any of this? She had delays in everything… socially, physically, cognitively, fine motor, gross motor…! I think I cried for 2 days straight, then pulled MY big girl panties up and became proactive. I knew it could be easy to fall into a poor me attitude and lose more precious time or advocate for my child!

I have to admit that it would be another 9 months before her formal diagnosis. That was the second time I felt like I hit a break wall. However, this time instead of grieving I went to the library and got Jenny’s book, Louder than Words. I read it in less than a day…I kept reading passages out loud to my husband, who, honestly, seemed annoyed by my correlating our daughter to Jenny’s son. However, I shamefully admit that I felt relief that we didn’t experience the medical conditions Jenny described.

Louder than Words allowed hope to trickle in my essence for the first time since the beginning of our autism journey. If anything at all, Louder than Words gave me hope that I didn’t have to accept what the Psychologist reported to us, “most of these kids grow up not being able to live independently, don't have productive jobs, or participate in a intimate relationship including friendships.” Honestly, this statement is what fueled my fire. In the beginning I was out to prove her wrong, and then I found Jenny saying that this attitude was wrong…

...HOPE...

I am not saying I believe everything the DAN Doctors, Jenny McCarthy, or other biomedical supporters say, but I am saying that to stomp out any ounce of hope in a parent is wrong. I have had medical professionals tell me that if you followed biomedical treatments, like chelation, you are putting your child at risk for death. I have read statements from the medical community and from parents that debunk Jenny McCarthy based on her “play boy” history and inability to act. Really?!?! How can we base the validity of her claims based on her professional career?

I don’t care how bad of an actress she is in your opinion— there is no correlation between that and her ability to spread the word about vaccination safety and autism. The only button this pushes in me is that no one is talking about the vaccines containing thimerosal that are given to expectant mothers. I once had a nuerologist suggest our daughter's condition proved that there is no vaccination/autism connection because she isn't vaccinated.... what about the two shots of RhoGam I recieved during her pregnancy?!?!

Could that be why during her pregnancy I had this uneasy feeling something was wrong? Or why she would not make eye contact while nursing during infancy? Or why she slept for unusually long periods of times after birth? What about her 5 month old picture that she has Down's Syndrome features? That the geneticist and neurologist couldn't find a biological reason for the autism?

Another mom on Twitter once said that people like Jenny, who are focused on cures, are instilling false hope upon mothers who are more worried about staying status quo.... She implied that we need to except out plight and cope with it. I rebuke that! Hope is what a mother with a child with autism most certainly needs, hope is what Jenny McCarthy and the biomedical field offers. Hope is what allows us to sleep a few minutes each night.

Sadly, I may not be able to afford all of the modalities Jenny has provided for Evan, but I can give my child hope for a brighter tomorrow on the other side of the spectrum. It is not whether or not Jenny McCarthy is a good actress, a playboy or in a relationship with Jim Carrey— It is about a mother whose journey is touching the lives of a nation facing a pestilence among our youth. And if for a moment, you can be inspired that your child may lead a productive healthy life, then by God, let the woman inspire you and speak for the thousands of children who cannot.

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Co-Sleeping Offers The Building Block For Trust and Open Communication

As some of you know, I am an advocate of the family bed. We happened upon this the evening of the day we brought Emily home from the hospital. I couldn’t tolerate that my tiny new baby lay in that cage of crib all alone after spending the first part of her existence within me; my maternal instincts screamed at me to pull her into the bed with us. As soon as I heeded this urge, I felt my anxiety melt away and fell into an innate rhythm of nursing and sleeping through the night.

In The Mother Consciousness I discuss how this prompted me to research the practice of the family bed around the world. I discovered that we were one of the few countries to displace their infants and children from the vicinity of the sleeping quarters of the mother; most infants of the world sleep within the close proximity of the mother in order to beckon the needs of her off spring. So, with my innate yearnings and the realization that this was only taboo in my backyard we ventured into the realm of co-sleeping.

Today, we live in a world where children are disconnected from their mothers & fathers for the majority of their day. Working parents send their younglings to daycare and nursery schools leaving them with a couple waking hours to spend together. If older children are not in school they are off with their friends or absorbed by all of the technology the 21st century offers them. My conclusion is that if you spend time sleeping together at least you have the opportunity to energetically connect.

Recently, I observed some teens that have both parents working out of the home. Now, I am not against the working mother. I was a working mother for the first 6 years of my motherhood, but I am against the parent that takes mothering lightly resulting in unsupervised children or children left with no moral development. A few of the things I saw these kids doing alarmed me... like lighting bottle rockets at their neighbor’s home and lying in the street during rush hour.

That evening during one of our twilight conversations my daughter and I discussed the behaviors we had observed. We talk about the safety issues, the lack of self control and even the boy girl dynamics we witnessed. We were able to have this discussion in the quiet of the night without contempt or the lecturing that typically follows such incidents; at an angle of respect, unconditional love, and self-empowerment.

This is just one of the many times that I understood that the family bed offered a sanctuary to my budding tween. Somehow over the years she has been able to disclose feelings and experiences in this setting that she hasn’t been able to process during the height of the day. It had become a safe haven where all judgment lay behind and it is understood that no matter what she discusses with me regardless of the topic is met with openness.

Could co-sleeping have prevented such deviant behavior in those teens? In and of itself…probably not, but it could have set the stage to reduce the need for attention seeking behaviors that could harm oneself or others. When an infant cries it is cueing the mother to respond, when the infant's needs are responded to appropriately and in a timely manner, the child learns that they can trust the primary caregiver which generalizes to all adults.

When children are displaced and forced to sleep in a separate room and cries are not satiated, they are being hardwired that they cannot trust the adults around them. I believe that when this occurs they learn early on that they have to have dramatic tantrums (lying in the street) in order to get the attention they deserve. In this case, negative attention is better than no attention at all.

I understand the need for independence and self empowerment, but I believe this can be achieved through other means than displacing our children from the close proximity of the mother during the sleeping hours. I also understand the concern of the marital bed, but let me reassure you that in no way has this inhibited our relations. In fact, this has created the opportunity to become creative and spontaneous in our connections. More so, the flirting and quiet sexual innuendos between my husband and myself during our daily activities has created a greater sense of romance; something I see missing from many couples that are far beyond the honeymoon phase of their marriages.

All in all, I have no regrets for the decision we had made in regards to our sleeping arrangements. In fact, I believe that one of the reasons that our youngest daughter (whom is diagnosed with autism) easily displays affection to us and people outside the family construct is because of the foundations laid by attachment parenting practices; co-sleeping and extended breastfeeding. I believe that each of my children have gained positive attributes that have been fostered through these practices.

Last night, however, after creating the perfect sleeping space, Emily decided on her own accord to sleep in her new room. It was a long night for us all… we could hear her toss and turn among her surrogate mothers (stuffed animals) trying to find that perfect nesting space. Then her little sister tossed and turned with the absence of her big sister.

This, too, is a task that I am sure we will all adjust to. And in the mean time, I will have to make a conscious effort to continue to connect with my daughter and offer opportunities for open communication based on trust and respect.

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5 Years Ago I Gave Birth To My Sunshine Girl!

As Sahara's birthday quickly approaches I find myself thinking about her birth. I can't believe it has been five years since my baby was born... where has the time gone? Anyways, in order to avoid my thoughts turning to how old I am getting I have decided to post a small excerpt from The Mother Consciousness about this birth experience....

"...Five days after my due date, we had the luxury of calling the midwives into the comfort of our home. I had been asleep for a couple of hours when I was awakened with the sensation to urinate. When I returned to bed I lay quietly next to my sleeping daughter. Focused on the tightening of my belly, I wondered if this was the beginning of true labor. When labor began with my first pregnancy it was obvious; my water broke and stage two labor contractions were upon me. This time I didn’t feel much urgency and birthing in the comfort of our home I was in no rush to go anywhere.

"When my husband heard me making a soft low pitched groan he decided he should call the midwives. He said he had only heard that sound once before and that was right before our first daughter was birthed. I was still unsure I was in labor even as the mid-wives arrived with my daughter yelling out the window, “Mommy’s having the baby! Mommy’s having the baby!” She jumped back into bed with excitement and I soon found myself, again, concentrating on the colors of the rainbow. I was birthing our second daughter in the comfort of my own bed just two hours and 50 minutes after I had awakened to go to the bathroom. With my husband on one side of me and my daughter on the other—this was surely a family moment to be cherished for eternity.

"In the quiet of the night we bonded with our newest family member. When my older daughter assisted the midwives in cutting the umbilical cord she joyfully declared, “Sister, I am making your belly button.” I then showered as she helped the midwives make the bed and dress her new baby sister. After the midwives packed up and left, my new family of four drifted off to an entire night of peaceful sleep. "

Happy Early Birthday, Sunshine Girl!!

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Reflection on the Sacredness of Childbirth

An excerpt from The Mother Consciousness:


I soon found myself attending a woman’s group where I sat passively listening to a dialogue about pregnancy and birth experiences. “Why is it,” I wondered, “that every time someone found out that you were expecting they had to share their opinion on the topic?” As I listened further, I began to understand that the childbearing experience often was what someone else had dictated it to be. Many mothers mindlessly accepted other’s perceptions simply as their own.

On that particular night the topic covered planning nonemergency C-sections to orchestrate their infant’s birth around their husbands’ time off and opting for an epidural. “How barbaric is it that anyone would refuse an epidural? She would have to be sadistic or something, wouldn’t she?” complained one woman who had just found out that she, too, was pregnant with her first child. Just a few weeks pregnant and already she knew that she would opt for the epidural. Here I was, well into my fifth month, still exploring what the childbirth experience would look like for me.

I was diligently weighing my options, battling with what culture said was the right thing to do while having this conflicting innate pull to create a unique natural birth story for our unborn child. I found myself realizing that these women could not even consider for a moment that the birthing process was a part of the rite of passage into their motherhood. They sat there discussing this as a routine medical procedure while I sat there stupefied, almost enraged, that none of them considered the sacredness of the birthing process.

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My Maternal Voice Saved My Daughter's Life

Every June, as I prepare birthday invitations, I pause and offer gratitude for finding my maternal voice. This innate response saved my daughters life.... (excerpt from The Mother Consciousness)

...Then sure enough, just four days later, we were told by our obstetrician the crushing news that there was no fetus in the embryonic sac. He ordered blood work to be done and said, “We should see the hormone levels go down over the next week.” We were devastated. My dreams of becoming a mother were about to be fulfilled and then, once again, stolen from me! The days that followed were long and full of grief.

At our next appointment the obstetrician said what we had feared the most—the hormone levels had decreased by more than 3000 and that reflected a miscarriage. As if trying to comfort us he said, “Most pregnancies end this way and the parents never even knew that they were pregnant.” He continued, “This is the body’s way of getting rid of a fetus that was not healthy to begin with or malformed.”

He then lectured about doing a D&C versus allowing the body to naturally abort the pregnancy. As my husband and I looked at each other, we could tell this was a routine lecture he had given to many patients before us.

[Somewhere in the depths of my existence I had my first maternal instinct whisper to me, “What if he is wrong?” This split second thought would change my life forever!]

It was in that moment that I had found myself outwardly questioning the authority that I had blindly accepted as my truth the first two decades of my life. It was in this flash of time that I considered that this doctor and his tests could be wrong. With my husband at my side, I sheepishly said, “What if you’re wrong?”

Quick glances were exchanged between the doctor and the nurse, “Mrs. Richardson, I know this must be difficult…” He talked about being a Christian and how he would never recommend a D&C without just cause. There he stood telling us about his stance on abortion and how he would not recommend this procedure unless he was absolutely 100 percent certain that the pregnancy had already been terminated.

[Could the ancestral mothers have been listening to my silent cries for a miracle? Did I feel their wisdom in my cells or hear them in the recess of my mind?]

My husband supported my outward questioning of this doctor’s authority by firmly requesting another ultrasound. As they begrudgingly prepared for the procedure, I laid there, once again in the cold blue crinkled paper gown, in profound silence. I held my breath as we stared at the screen. My husband stood by my side caressing my hand. Minutes seemed to be suspended in time.

Then suddenly, there was a rhythmic movement in the middle of the screen within the very sac that just a week ago appeared empty. Stunned—we watched our daughter’s heart beat for the first time. Again, more quick glances were passed around the room as I let go of my breath. The doctor quickly said, “I guess I will see you in a month.” He abruptly left the room with no apology or explanation regarding the agonizing experience we had just painstakingly endured.

(My Daughter will celebrate her 10th birthday next weekend! Happy Birthday Angel-Girl!)

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The Mother Consciousness

It is time for us to reclaim our innate rights and restore our instincts as they guide us towards true health and security for the children of the today and of the future.

We must reinvest in the natural development of our children behaviorally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

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Rhesus-Negative and Gestation

Can an expectant mother's immune system attack her fetus? It is said that there is a potential risk if the mother's blood has a protein that her fetus does not.

Most people (85%) have a protein in their blood called rhesus-negative (Rh D-). When a person lacks this protein (Rh D-) and it (the protein) happens to enter their blood stream, the body will innately build antibodies against it and the immune system will attack.

Typically an expectant Rh D- mother is administered an injection at the 28^th week of pregnancy and within 72 hours of birth of a rhesus-positive birth, to prevent her antibodies attacking a future pregnancy resulting in a miscarriage. This RhoGam shot, also referred to as the Anti-D vaccine, is just that, a vaccine. It is designed to outwit the body’s natural reaction to the detection of this protein in the blood stream.

If an expectant mother’s blood mixes with her fetus it usually does so during or close to birth, unless there is a rare trauma or incident that may promote blood transfuses between the mother and child. Now, if a mother experiences a trauma and the blood of fetus mixes with hers prior to the birth her body could theoretically assault the current pregnancy. Remember, this only happens if the mother has negative blood (15% of women), the fetus has positive blood, and somehow the blood mixes.

Although, my husband and I were thorough in our research about the decisions we make regarding our health care, we regretfully did not research the RhoGam inoculation. I received these injections subjecting our unborn child to massive amounts of thimerosal while her brain and nervous system was developing in utero. We will never know whether or not this assault caused her autism, however we acknowledge that it most certainly contributed to the condition.

I hear individuals and organization protesting against childhood vaccinations, but I wonder why no one is talking about the vaccine that is directly injected into the expectant mother. I often wonder if that is why we saw symptoms of autism soon after birth, instead of the highly reported loss of developmental milestones during the toddler years.

At the 2000 International Public Conference of the National Vaccine Information Center (NVIC) F. Edward Yazbak, MD, pediatrician and school physician in North Smithfield, Rhode Island (Dr. Yazbak also assisted his local board of health and CDC in conducting “mass vaccination campaigns”) spoke out about a revelation he uncovered while researching children of vaccinated mothers. He found that 85 percent of mothers who received the RhoGam shot during pregnancy had children with autism. 85%!

I cannot emphasize enough the importance of educating yourself before you make any decision- especially when it has a direct effect on your health or the health of your child. Often I see my friends and family going to the person in a white lab coat and taking their word as gold. I cannot go back in time and see if that is what caused our daughter’s condition of autism, but I can be proactive now and educate others to make a conscious choice instead of mindlessly obeying this authority.

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