Autism and Elopement: Finding A Sense of Hope

Wandering

Elopement

Running

Flight Risk

If you have a child on the spectrum these words might elicit strong emotions within you ~ No words can completely grasp the sinking sensation within your being when you cannot locate your non-verbal child!

I hear autism parents chuckle all the time that they are the only ones who lock doors to keep their children inside, instead of intruders out. It is true. If Sahara gets away from me (inside and out) she will not respond to the question, "Sahara, where are you?" We have resorted to chains on doors to give us some peace of mind... that is until she learned how to use the broom to unlatch the locks. She is not only intelligent, but cleaver!!

She has left the house at night once and it was horrifying!! But, it is just as alarming during day light. One time we found her in naked in a tree house near a neighbor's pool. Your stomach falls and panic fills every cell within you. You aren’t sure if you should run in to get the phone to call 911 or if you should start running through the neighborhood. (I have done both!) When your autistic child is non-verbal and out of your sight it is an indescribable experience!

There are horror stories in the news almost daily: Autistic Adult Missing, Austistic Child Found Alive in Swamp, Autistic Resident Found Dead In Van… these are the headlines that keep me up at night (and I mean that very literally)!! This is a constant fear in the recess of my mind and of the mind of many parents with children on the autism spectrum!!

In fact, just before I sat down to write this blog today, I read a news article from Wichita, Kansas where a 5 year old autistic boy was found in a neighbor’s pond, just 30 minutes after his adult sister noticed he was missing. He was in critical condition, but later died. Tragic!! I pray for this family as they go through the unthinkable!

And I pray for all other families that are on the spectrum facing this manifestation of autism!

This is the kind of story I shared with my daughter’s school during our last IEP meeting. I was attempting to make a case for a one on one paraprofessional for safety purposes (in addition to the academic needs). The school is situated near a busy road and there is a pond on the property. The teacher said, “Well, I know you have problems with that at home, but at school she has never tried to run.” Aside the obvious contempt and judgment within her statement, the fact is it only takes once for a tragedy to occur!!

I decided that if the school wasn’t going to cooperate with us, then we would take matters of safety into our own hands. I started researching GPS locators… they weren’t cheap! (Remember, hubby was downsized and we had had no income for 7 months!) So, I called my daughter’s Developmental Disability Case Manager and inquired about funding… she said the family respite services would fund it!! The Caveat…. we would have to forfeit her music therapy allocations for the whole quarter!!

Well, that wasn't a viable option.

At about the same I happened to see a contest posted on facebook via the Autism Women’s Network. They were giving away a GPS locator and one year’s worth of service to an autism family. What could it hurt to try to win this, right? So, I emailed them at info@awn.com to tell them our story.

Our life possibly changed completely via one phone call this morning...!!!

I just sat down with a cup of coffee this morning as the phone rang. Of course, I cannot find the receiver… welcome to the world of tween-dom. The machine picks up and I hear an unfamiliar voice, but immediately recognize the name, Tricia Kenney with the Autism Women’s Network. I sprint to the living room and find the phone on my daughter’s desk… and answer.

I WON THE GPS LOCATOR FOR SAHARA!!

I am not even sure what I said to Tricia this morning. I was stunned. This is a VERY VERY EMPOWERING FOR ME, SAHARA, HER SISTER AND FATHER... THE WHOLE FAMILY!!

As I sat in the lobby of Children's Hospital this morning (Sahara was in thearpy), I thought about all the places and things we could do...

THE ZOO

COSI

FRANKLIN PARK CONSERVATORY

LIBRARY

FAIRS

THE MALL

GROCERY STORES

PLAYING IN THE BACK YARD

TAKING A WALK

PARKS

FRIEND'S HOUSES

SCHOOL FUNCTIONS

VACATIONS

... and the list goes on.

I think about how much we don't do in the community, because of fear of losing her in public! The stress we have between my husband and myself because we are under the constant stress of who is 'watching' Sahara. The sleepless nights because of the fear that she will walk out of the house. The obvious unjust responsibility that her sister burdens. The gut wrenching agony I have when I worry about someone nabbing her.... or worse!!

And as I think about what this simple, yet phenomenal devise will offer us.... I am filled with hope! I am thinking today about how we will be able to teach her better community skills and how we will be able to have more childhood opportunities and fun as these raw fears vanish.

Even the basic ability to be in a different room from her gives me relief... not only for my sanity, but for her personal growth and autonomy. When we were kids we went outside and we learned boundaries, we explored our environment, and we developed real self-regulating skills. Sahara has never had that opportunity... nor has her sister for that matter. Wow!! I am eager to see how this will play out...

Thank you Sharon Da Vanport and Tricia Kenney of AWN!!

Thank you Autism Women's Network!!

Thank you LifePROTEKT!!

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Cell Phones: Luxury or Need?

We are changing cell phone plans and I had this great idea... close the first and post pone the second as long as I can to see how long we can go.

Yes, my primary motive was saving money... We are still recouping from hubby being out of work for 6 months after being downsized right before the holidays.

But, as I thought about it, I started wondering if the controversial frequencies they emit really affect our health & well-being and do they pollute our air & environment? As you know these are the thoughts that keep me up at night.

Then I started wondering, if the cell phone tower or the "phone company" building that was next to the building I worked when pregnant with Sahara, could have contributed to the infantile autism? Purely based on the energy model... it most certainly is probable.

Of course there is also my consideration that the age of industrialization is doing more global harm then good. And I am talking on a spiritual, physical and emotional level.

Industrialization has introduced more pollutants in our environment than ever before (BP oil spill case in point). It has torn families apart as they moved away from family farming to the city life. We have left our elders who helped us raise and guide our young children... now strangers turned childcare providers are caring for our kids.

I could go on... but you get the point.

Back to the cell-phone issue... My big question was can we do without this modern day luxury that is now viewed as a need?? Is it possible in the 21st century to forfeit something that we have created the construct of necessity for?

After all, this is precisely the experiment I did with cable TV 5 years ago. And, yes, we still are cable free... Instead of television, we now play games, go to parks, read books, and nurture our bodies, minds and relationships naturally.

Well, 4 weeks is a far cry from 5 years... but, we are on week 4 of no cell phones and I don't miss it (other than the Long Distance calling). I miss calling my mom anytime. Especially since I can't just hop in the car and drive to her house... she lives 3 hours away.

Of course my IT hubby is probably going insane. He has had phones attached to the hip for years... I would think not being at the beckon call of others would be refreshing to him. He says he misses not being in touch with me and the girls. That is valid. If there is an emergency we are no longer connected like we were with the phone.

I presume that that is our biggest hurdle. What if Sahara gets lost in a crowd or what if there is an emergency when we are in the community... what do I do?

And now that we are in the height of tween-dom with Emily, we have promised her that when we order our new phones, she is to get her own. Not because we want her to be hip, but for the same reasons I think we need one. Remember the dime our mothers used to give us when we went out with our friends, "If you need anything call me!"

Have you noticed phone booths are a thing of the past?

So, I am on the line... now pun intended. Do we go another 4 weeks of my experiment or do we bite the bullet of the industrialization age and buy the new phones and plans.?

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