Restless Good Night Routine

Our nighttime routine is anything but routine... it has no rhyme, no rhythm! It is undeniably the most difficult part of the day in the life of autism. When Mom and Dad are both exhausted from the day's events.... one child ready to crash n burn while the other is just getting her second wind.... or so that is how it seems.

Last night I had a revelation about this challenging situation; and ironically it was the very fact that this night was no different than any other that gave me the insight...

Everyone was in bed by 9:00pm. Well, everyone but Sahara... who was running downstairs to find her tiny wooden bed for her tiny plastic Bambi deer figurine. She turned every toy chest over until our apartment looked like a ‘Toys R Us’ explosion took place.

The thing that tugs my heart strings the most about this is that she doesn’t have the words to say, "Hey, did anyone see the little wooden toy bed?" Nope instead, she was running around yelling, "Where'd it go?" coupled with a bunch a mindful jargon that certainly... just maybe… most likely meant, "Hey, did anyone see the little wooden toy bed?"

So we spent an hour looking for a toy that she is obsessed with, but we didn’t know which toy we are looking for... a needle in the hay stack. Thank GOD for Emily, who is usually the one to break the code. She figured it out and Bambi finally got a proper tucking in!! Everyone was back in bed.

10:00 pm

"I hungry. I hungry. I eat chocolate pudding.... I huuunnnngry."

Chocolate Soy Pudding is one of the only things she will eat and I am certain she really was hungry... it had been hours since she had consumed anything other than string and paper; pica sucks and has been rearing its ugly head more frequently again!! This brings us to the next development of the story... After she ate the pudding... she said, "Potty!"

I tell her to go... after 5 minutes I say, "Sahara wipe and come back to bed."

"I POTTY!!"

"Are you pooping?"

"Yes, I poop." This was followed by several minutes of loud grunting. I get up and go to the bathroom to see her pushing with all her might!! Constipation!! I am certain it was triggered by the cardboard she ate the night before. There she sat in tears for a half an hour with just 2 tiny pellets to show for it. My heart aches! I can see the frustration in her eyes as she says, "Potty broken."

11:45 pm

After she settled back into bed, she decided she wanted to sleep on the futon at the end of our bed. We get her settled in, lay back down... and she starts to chatter non-stop. We can understand words intermittently, "mermaid... poop... party... frog...."

12:30 am

She was now hopping like a frog across the futon... and flopping like a mermaid, all while the chattering and giggles continue. Her dad tried to reason with her... but rationally we know there is no reasoning... she is stimming and we have to wait it out. I lay down beside her... I watch and hold the space... I can see that it is not a conscious game she was playing. But rather an obsessive flow of thoughts, actions and words.... pouring out of her.

1:45 am

Then just like every night... she suddenly stops. Silence!! She scoots closer to me... I can feel the sleepy warmth of her body as she cradled into my arms and gently played with my ear lobe and cheek.

2:45 am

The house was asleep.... as my own thoughts kept fading in and out of sleep.

4:00 am

She woke up again to use the bathroom.... sensory issues do not sleep!! It takes her another hour get over the moisture on her skin from the urination.

5:00 am

She was sound asleep. I was beyond the exhausted phase... you know, the one where you can't sleep. I lay there watching her peacefully sleep.... maybe one of the few moments of normalcy in her chaotic world... I heard her sister's heavy breathing… and my husband is in a deep soundless sleep. I was alone with my thoughts in the quiet of the night. I lay there thinking about this... and I conclude that this bedtime routine serves a grand purpose.

I believe that she is emoting the stress of her day; processing the events, words, interactions, demands, fantasies, constipation, pica, raw frustration of living in a world where few understand her thoughts and words... in the only way she knows how... in the quiet of the night… where she is safe and nothing will interrupt this process… she flaps, stims and processes her day. And once this unconscious need subsides she falls into a gentle sleep.

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Everyday Reiki Class for Special Needs Parents & Advocates

I thought I would post an upcoming event I am facilitating. My 'soul' purpose for this class is to empower other parents and advocate with a simple, yet profound tool we have been using daily with our children for the past few years. If you are in central Ohio I hope you can join us.

THIS PRACTICAL CLASS WILL EMPOWER PARENTS & ADVOCATES OF SPECIAL NEEDS CHILDREN TO USE HANDS-ON REIKI FOR EVERYDAY CHALLENGES.

Reiki is a Japanese healing technique that can be performed in a variety of ways promoting ease and relaxation for the participants.

Be prepared to learn what Reiki (energy) is, how to use it and how its application can assist in the daily challenges of the special needs family & classroom.

Other material covered will include how autism and other disorders are related to the CHAKRA SYSTEM and how MEDITATION & the POWER OF INTENTION can dramatically effect our children.

Dress in comfortable clothing and bring a yoga mat or towel to lay on during the hands-on exercises. Refreshments will be available.

WHY I OFFER THIS CLASS:

They say pictures speak a thousand words.... The left pic is my daughter when she was in an autistic state of catatonia (Note the distance in her eyes). The right pic is 4 months later after consistent Reiki/Energy Work.

http://www.facebook.com/ph

oto.php?fbid=1015029004727

0440&set=a.101502900470454

40.540810.329192760439

DISCLAIMER:

Reiki doesn't cure Autism Spectrum Disorder, ADD, ADHD, ODD, PDD-NOS or any other emotional/physical conditions, however by alleviating some of the major energetic stressors in these very sensitive children, overall calming effects can take place without interfering with conventional treatments. In fact, we have found some of the more traditional therapies to be more effective in conjunction with Reiki.

COST:

Cash or a secure payment via paypal... please reference the email: LadySusan@sbcglobal.net

$100

IF you have a medical card or receive county funding, let me know... although I do not accept those funding sources (yet) I will offer you a discounted rate.

ABOUT ME:

Susan E. Richardson, BS ~ Art Therapy, MRC ~ Counseling, Reiki Master

I have a unique background in counseling, holistic wellness and a variety of energy healing modalities. I have been compassionately leading experiential groups and classes for 13 years. I use Reiki daily with my family and have seen miraculous changes in my daughter on that is on the autistic spectrum with consistent Reiki. My goal is to share this information with others so that they may experience similar results.

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An Autism Christmas Poem: A Walk In Our Shoes

"Twas the Night Before Christmas
And all through the house
The creatures were stirring
Yes, even the mouse

We tried melatonin
And gave a hot bath
Asleep early for Christmas?
...an unlikely path

The children were finally
All nestled in bed
When visions of Christmas
Ran through my OWN head

Did I get the right gift?
The right color and style?
Would there be a blank stare
Or even, maybe, a smile?

Friends & family come
But they don't understand
The pleasure she gets
Just from bending her hands.

"Just make her stop it," some say
"Just tell her "no",
“You must learn to be tough.."
On and on they go...

We smile and nod
Because we know deep inside
The debate is moot
Let them all take a side

We know what it's like
To live with the spectrum
The struggles, triumphs
achievements and regressions.

But what some don't know
And what some don't see
Is the joy that we feel
Over simplicity.

She said "hello"!
She ate something green!
She looked me in my eyes
She did not cause a scene!

She peed on the potty!
Who cares if she's ten;
She stopped saying the same thing
Again and again!"

Some others don't realize
Just how we can cope
How we bravely hang on
At the end of our rope

But what they don't see
Is the joy we can't hide
When our children with autism
Make the tiniest stride

We may look at others
Without the problems we face
With envy, with wonder,
Or even distaste,

What we want them to know
What's important to see
Is that children with autism
Bring simplicity.

We don't get excited
Over expensive things
We jump for joy
With the progress work brings

Children with autism
Try so hard every day
That they make us proud
More than words can say.

They work even harder
Than you or I
To achieve something small
To reach a star in the sky

So to those who don't get it
Or can't get a clue
Take a walk in our shoes
And I'll assure you…

That even 10 minutes
Into the walk
You'll look at us all
With respect, even shock.

You will realize
What it is we go through
And the next time you see us
I can assure you

That you won't say a thing
You'll be quiet and learn,
Like the years I learned to
When the tables were turned.

~Christine Muczyk

(A Mom from the support group I lead sent this to me... powerful!!)

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One of Those Days... WTF?!?!?

So it was a rough weekend... PMS and all!!

The firework show was a bust and stimming was at an all time high in our corner of the world. We didn't make it to bed until 11:30 last night, then the new kitten woke the girls and me up at 5:00am!! It was bound to be a rough day.

The music therapist cancelled at the last minute... but, I understood... her hubby was home for the holiday and she wanted to spend the morning with him and her son. With the continued stimming and agitation this morning I am certain not much would have been accomplished anyways. So I was happy to reschedule for tomorrow morning.

All morning I reminded Sahara of the agenda of the morning that seemed to last forever... Relax, Get dressed, Brush teeth, OT, Speech, Lunch... If you don't know much about autism, routine is important to many of these kids (and adults).

So, when we pulled up to the Children's Close to home and the parking lot seemed much too empty on a Monday morning... I got a little nervous. I told Sahara to wait. Being parked right in front of the main door I was able to quickly jump out of the jeep to check the front door. It was open... whew!!

I nodded at Sahara; she took off her seat belt as I grabbed my laptop and book (Eclipse) from the passenger front seat. Sahara must have have been anticipating OT as much as I... instead of running down the sidewalk she walked right into the building and sat down in the empty lobby. I said to the subbing receptionist, "Sahara is here to see [J] for OT, then [C] for Speech."

I wasn't prepared for the response, "Oh, they aren't here today."

"What!?!?"

"I am sorry, the lab and x-rays are only seeing people today," she sheepishly replied.

"I specifically asked [C] and [J] 2 weeks ago if we had therapy today and they both said 'yes'!!"

Avoiding all eye contact she said, "I am sorry you will have to talk to them about that."

I expressed that I was upset because I not only asked one therapist, but two!! if we had therapy today and was told "yes" we did. I continued that I thought this was inappropriate for therapists who supposedly specialize in autism... certainly they should know the importance of routine for these kids on the spectrum. I didn't get a response to that...

The lobby was eerily quiet... I approach Sahara and try my best to explain why we had to leave right away. The look in her eyes said it all... no comprehension!! Instantly I am pissed, "I expect more professionalism than this from Children's Hospital!!," I snap.

I know it was not this green receptionist's fault... but I was so upset. My child was pulling away from my hand and running through the lobby clearly not comprehending why her mean mother was trying to force her to leave when we had just arrived here.

Maybe the sting was worse because we so desperately needed the platform swing today, maybe because I was looking forward to consulting with the SLP about creating a picture schedule for the summer or maybe, just maybe, because in the recess of my mind I remembered that last sting I got from the SLP.

She was explaining to me how she is going to work in the Down Syndrome Clinic, "You don't know what it is like to work with autistic children all day... "

I must not have held a good poker face because she failed miserably at saving face, "I mean, you get to go home after your appointment, I have to stay here all day, day after day. Autistic kids are hard to work with"

WTF?!?!

Where did she think I went after our appointment???? I am just really annoyed with therapists, doctors and other so-called professionals who haven't a clue what a parent of a child diagnosed with autism goes through. I can garuntee you that their degrees and experience have little comparison to the expertise us mothers and fathers on the front line have. How dare she imply that her JOB was more difficult.

I wasn't surprised when I got home to find a voice mail from the SLP on my answering machine. However, she stated that she had arrived to work and was told to go home because it is a holiday; they won't pay overtime. This doesn't add up to me as I know that she works 12 hour shifts on Mondays, so if she had arrived to work it would have been at 7:00 am not 10:30... a half hour prior to our appointment and a half hour after I reamed the receptionist.

So much for my hubby's relaxing day off with the family. After I vented, we have spent most of the day refereeing between the girls and consoling Sahara in her many many melt downs. In addition, Emily had a low grade fever and was grumpy; I was PMSing; and my dear hubby was ready to crawl under a rock.

Here's to a better day tomorrow...

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Fireworks, Ignorance and Stimming

I was all prepared to embrace our freedom and have a great time with the family. We were going to arrive a bit early, find a remote parking lot and watch the fireworks from a distance to avoid the noise, smell, people, traffic jams... if you or your loved one has autism you know why; sensory sensitivities are debilitating!!

Okay, so plans didn't go as expected... we did arrive early but the traffic was insane. Sahara kept signing for 'sparklers' and I tried to get her to understand that fireworks are like sparklers only in the sky. People were blowing their horns, playing loud music and one even yelled 'fucker' at me when I hesitated to go forward because he was looking down AND heading straight at me... I know it makes no sense to me either. My hubby told me to shake it off... I tried, but his words stung!

Of course I was already feeling on edge... we had had pizza for dinner a couple of hours earlier and prior to that Emily and I shared nachos and pop corn at the theater. I am sure my blood sugar levels were soaring; I was short and snippy... fully aware of it, but I couldn't stop. It is so frustrating to have emotions that you have no control over... really, really frustrating.

Anyways, back to the fireworks... we found a parking lot right off main street which only had 2 cars with a perfect view towards the designated show. It was close enough to have a good view and far enough away to zoom away if needed. We backed in next to one of the cars there and opened the back to my jeep. The kids forced themselves to get comfy in the blankets. Ahhh!!

Being on Main Street we were privy to the late traffic jammers... people can be so rude when the are stressed and overwhelmed. I am certain they lost sight of the whole reason we were there in the first place... to celebrate our Freedom!! But, I had too... Freedom was the farthest thing from my mind.

A few kids started throwing snaps at each other's feet; it would have been cute if it didn't make Emily wish she had brought our's. Then they pulled out the sparklers; now Sahara was even more insistent in her signing, 'sparklers?' I was almost relieved when their supply ran out, until they started to set off smoke bombs and yep, we were down wind!!

Finally, the kids settle down and in whips a blue van right next to ours. They are blaring base thumping so loud my inner core thumped with it. Sahara puts her hands on her ears as I give them a subtle look. All the kids in the van are banging their heads to this noise along with the adults. I am thinking hard how to approach them to let them know that our child has a disability that causes her to be sensitive to certain sounds... I am at a loss and certain I could find no such words. And even if I thought I had, they didn't look like the type of people to offer me compassionate understanding.

In the mean time Sahara starts to hum... I am sure she is trying to block out the base thumping. Five young kids jump out of the van and I hear them using words like "Jesus Christ" "Fuck" and "Retard"... my blood is boiling!! I try not to let it show, but I am sure everyone knows that I am pissed... especially my own family. I am certain I am ruining their good time.

I start to deep breath and ask for patience.

Suddenly a red van pulls infront of our jeep... blocking the exit path I carefully orchestrated. I am okay though.... I quickly decide if it gets much worse (and trust me it did) I could just back our jeep up onto main street and leave. My sense of relief is popped as the 7 people jump out of their van and plop a cooler full of beer and blanket five feet from the back of the jeep... they pinned us in completely!!

Not only were they blocking our view to the much anticipated (now almost dreaded) fireworks, they lit cigarettes and cracked opened beer cans... all down wind. I feel completely assulted.... thumping base on one side of me and cigarette smoke in my face... I look at my family and yearn to protect them. I can only imagine with their heightened sensitivities how they must be feeling.

Both girls found their way on the ground to play in the dirt and gravel... I presume they were seeking a sensory activity to soothe their assaulted systems... playing in dirt is always gratifying to me. It feels so calm to have the smooth grains go between my fingers and palms. They looked filthy and it made me chuckle... leave it to my daughters to find their way to the Earth to ground themselves from their environment.

When Sahara is done she is more agitated than before because now she is dirty and wants water and a towel to clean herself up, "Why didn't I better prepare?!?!" She starts to orally stim and of course our assailants of the night begin to snap looks at us... they are oblivious that it was their rude disregard that started the vocalizations. Of course they are too self absorbed to notice andmost likely ignorant of autism to comprehend the discomfort my child is experiencing. In fact, I am certain that the first van load turned up the base intentionally when the noted my obvious disapproval.

As the loud show begins Sahara's face lights up! Once again, I am feeling tender about a moment that demonstrates how far we have come... prior to this year, she had never taken note to the beautiful shimmering light in the sky... she is breathless and utters, "Wow, it's beautiful!" I well up with emotion... I note to myself that if only everyone could see this through her virgin eyes that they would experience the true meaning of Independence Day. Liberty is within her as autism loosens it's clutches.

Emily is speechless and rolls over onto her tummy. I am certain she is categorizing each design so she can recreate them in her journal over the week. My heart aches at the pain she has endured in the shadow of autism... she takes everything on. I am relieved at the moment of loosing herself into the show. I presume this is why I try to do this every year...

I want her (both of them) to have a chance at normalcy as much as possible. I presume that the notion of normalcy is over-rated and romanticized... but I try. Sometimes I think that it is the siblings that have a more difficult time. They carry burdens with them... well, at least my girl does. She worries about her sister constantly and always puts her first, but she struggles with quiet resentment too. I try my best to support her, but it is hard!

These are the things that wake up my demons inside. I see the rugrats in the van parked next to us... dis-shelved and unruly; talking worse than sailors as the parents throw out threats of physical harm and the kids retort with disrespect. I think about how hard I try to be mindful about everything I do, and how guilty I feel for being moody (probably from the sugar levels I am learning) and I become infuriated at the obvious injustice.

Then I remember, better me than them. I can handle this... I know I can!! We will get through this moment of torture just like others and be stronger and more empowered than the moment before.

The fireworks are loud even at a distance and we are blocked in; Sahara begins to run in circles while humming. I don't even try to intervene... I know this is the only way she has to soothe herself in this moment.

On the way home Sahara was stimming with intensity; rocking, hand flapping and humming. I knew she was trying to calm herself down, but nonetheless I felt helpless. I wanted to make her pain and discomfort subside. However, I know when I am upset I am about useless to her... well, that probably isn't true, but it certainly feels like it. I know I need to tend to my needs so I can be better present for both of my kids... and let's not forget for my husband as well.

I am not sure we will do this again next year or ever... As for today we have less stimming, but it is still present. I am sure her system is trying to re-regulate. I hope someday that others in our global community become aware of the sensitivities and impact they have on this generation of youth.

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A Checker, A Cough and A Deal With GOD!

COUGH COUGH COUGH

Me: “Sahara, did you swallow a checker?”

S: “A Checker?”

Me: “Sahara, Did you eat one?”

S: “Yes”

Me: “You ate one?”

S: “No”

Me: “Sahara did you eat this?”

S: No response

Me: “Look at me…. Did you eat this?”

S: “Eat this?”

Me: “Is the checker in you?”

COUGH ***GAG*** COUGH

Me: “Honey are you okay?”

S: Points to mouth then to the checkers

Me: “Is there one in there?”

S: “No eat.”

If you have ever tried to get concrete information from a child diagnosed with autism compromised by a severe speech and communication delay, you know just how frustrating (almost on the brink of infuriation) that this type of a scenario can be. You don’t know if the speech you are hearing is echolalia or if the gesturing is part of a game or if it is telling you something.

You feel your energy begin to swirl… faster and faster into a panic. You lose your thoughts to your fears… and cannot think straight. You can’t remember if you heard a cough earlier that day and your mind can only embrace the worse possible outcome.

On the ride to the hospital emergency room, the silence is broken by this gaspy cough… then all is quiet again. It is a busy night in the ER! You register and sit down wishing that no one else was in your midst, certainly all the other parents are thinking the same thought; begging in their mind for their child’s aliment to be more important than the next to get the care they need first.

After an hour, you get called into triage. The nurse is annoyed because she has had to print out a third wrist band for your child and because of the sensory issues you know it won’t be the last. You say you will keep it on your wrist, but are quickly put into place and told it has to be on her body. Your relief of being in triage is quickly replaced with exasperation when the nurse redirects you back to the waiting area.

As you sit there you can identify with the other parents; all emotionally tired and frustrated. Suddenly you see a man come into the ER entrance with a gunshot wound. Whispers are contagious among the parents. You sit there with the fresh images of raw flesh held up in the air with a bullet wound dripping in crimson red. You unsuccessfully try to ground yourself.

The kids have to go to the bathroom, but the policewoman redirects you to a long corridor; they are guarding the gunshot victim and interrogating people at the bathroom entrance. You try to explain what is happening, but your kids have no clue what the word ‘gang’ means and have a difficult time following any explanation.

In the bathroom, your child begins this unnerving whine… you forgot to grab her special towel that she uses to wipe herself after going potty at the house. Her sensory issues are becoming even more agitated. You begin to doubt your decision to drag the whole family to the ER… it has been 2 hours since she supposedly swallowed the foreign object and she seems fine (fine, that is, other than this hoarse cough).

You wait awhile longer, and then they call you to a treatment. One nurse, a resident and a fellow later you are told they are going to do chest and abdominal x-rays. However, it is explained that the plastic checker will not show up on a film, so they are just looking at the integrity of the lungs, esophagus and abdomen. You agree to do the x-rays and are directed to another wing where you wait another 30 minutes.

You are relieved that your child is pretty cooperative for the x-rays as you stand next to her in a heavy lead apron. You wonder if the gown was comforting to her and as she seems to melt into the cold glass x-ray table. Back to the waiting room, then to the original treatment room and finally at 2:00 am you are told that there was nothing to show concern on the films…. However, that doesn’t mean that there isn’t a checker still in her esophagus. It is thoroughly explained that the concern now is the checker being sucked into her lung if it is indeed lodged into the esophagus. If you suspect this is happening you are instructed to call 911 immediately… this will be notable if she begins gasping of air. You sigh knowing that is the sound of the cough that triggered this whole wild goose chase.

Discharge papers take another 30 minutes to arrive. Your oldest child is overtired and snipping at everyone. The patient’s sensory input is on overdrive and is now pacing the halls and pushing the automatic door buttons. Daddy has an intense look on his face that even makes you shudder and you, well, you have completely shut down. Your family has had it and is exhausted and ready to get home.

The kids fall asleep on the way home. Your child wakes every 20-40 minutes the rest of the night with this hoarse gaspy croupy cough. You don’t dare fall asleep as the fear of suffocation has forced your eyes to stay awake. You are constantly questioning yourself whether it is just a cough or the checker moving.

You are exhausted! You are tired, and I mean not just on a literal level, but on a deeper more profound level. The manifestations of the autism has taken your strength and you lay awake pissed about your plight… thinking about how it would have been easier if your child could just have said whether or not she had swallowed the fucking red checker in the first place.

As you focus on the hoarse breathing of the limp child laying in your arms, you begin to beg for God to make the Autism just go away. You pray for her to find her way out of its grasps so she can have a functional, productive life. You pray for that miracle that will bring your child her speech and functional communication with the morning sun, so you don't have to guess anymore during another crisis.

And in the depth of your quiet heart you pray that she will simply make it to her next birthday;

Then in the recess of your mind you begin to search for the cure that will simply make her 'normal';

Finally, in the seat of your soul, you strike a deal with God that He will simply and miraculously heal your child tonight...

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The Coffee Klatch presents Temple Grandin

The Coffee Klatch (TCK) is a real time twitter chat room founded and moderated by Moms of special needs children. TCK brings knowledge and empowerment into front rooms across the globe. I have found other mothers (and fathers) to be my best resource in advocacy, education and support; and TCK ranks up there with the best! Visit their web site for more information and transcripts from former shows.

Last night TCK had TEMPLE GRANDIN as their guest! I have posted some of my favorite tweet-quotes from the interview below. I do not intend to take away from the whole interview process nor do I mean to take anything out of context, but wanted to pull out some of the concepts that seemed to me to be important to emphasize. Please note, I still encourage you to view the Full Transcript from the Temple Grandin Show here.

My Favorite Temple Grandin tweet-quotes from TCK interview:

ABOUT SPECIAL DIETS

"yes it cleared up my yeast infections - I hav ecut huge amounts of suger out of my diet - with success and I talk about it in "the way"

"Im doing wheat free myself"

ABOUT INCLUSION IN SCHOOL

"You have to look at your particular situatin in your school - you might want to look at "unwritten rules of social relationships"

"there are some aspergers kids that get tortured in high school and may need to be taken out but - I am much more of an advocate for inclusion for elementary school kids - I want to emphasis that decision about this depend upon many unique variables with particular"

ABOUT MEDICATIONS

"the big mistake with antidepressants in the autism spectrum is too high a dose. some need only 1/4 to 1/2 the starter does - they are microresponders and you need to read the book very very carefully"

ABOUT SIBLINGS

"Find shared interests that they can enjoy together like painting pictures playing games sports any activity they both enjoy"

ABOUT DSM IV & DIAGNOSIS

"Aspergers according to dms IV is minor autism with no speech delay - it is not a seperate disorder - autism is a continuum to veryfrom mild and a little nerdy to no language and severe problems - Einstein in todays school system would prob be labeled autistic"

"According to DSM IV guidlines I would be HFA because I had speech delay"

ABOUT SPEECH DELAY

"I recommend that they read the book "How can I talk if my lips dont move. It is written by a person that is non verbal with autism - written Tito anybody working with non verbals should read that book"

ABOUT THE DIFFERENT WAYS WE LEARN

"You need to build on the childs area of strength."

"photo realistic visual thinkers like me are very good at art design drawing and graphics but I am really bad at algebra -some visual"

"the second type is the pattern thinker - or music and math mind - it is a more abstract form of visual thinking - these children may. thinkers can do geometry and trig"

"the third is the word mind - these children know huge amounts of verbal facts about their favorite subject "

ABOUT TEACHING

"Never taught in the abstract it has to be taught with specific examples"

"Mother told me to take my turn - turn taking was taught using board games -to understand the concept of turn taking I had to learn it"

"He took my interests and channeled them into motivating me to study - good teachers build on a child interests if a child likes trainsteach reading with trains math with trains - you want to use the motiviation of the fixation to motivate academics and career work"

ABOUT SOUND SENSITIVITY

"sometimes the sound sensitivity can be reduced if the child can get used to the sound on recording and the child can turn it up gradual"

"sound sensitivity - ear plug or head phones can be worn but - they must be off for half of the day to prevent the ears fromgetting more sensitive"

ABOUT TACTILE SENSITIVITY

"tactile - soft clothes that are well washed several times will be less scratchy"

ABOUT VISUAL SENSITIVITY

"two other things that help is using a laptop computer which does not flicker and try printing reading materials on pastel color papers"

"interventions- if visual some ppl find colored lenses are helpful - pale pink blue ligt brown and purple sunglasses"

ABOUT AUDITORY PROCESSING

"sensory probs are very variable - some have aud processing probs where difficulty hearing hard consentant sounds like D AND G"

ABOUT EARLY INTERVENTION

"keep the mind engaged"

"most imp is 20 or more hours a week of 1 to to teaching with an effective teacher. this is for very young children from 2 to 5 yrs old - not to stop at 5."

Full Transcript from the 3/28/10 Temple Grandin Show here.

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The Cleavers We Are Not

Since I was cooped up for the last few weeks (and I really didn't feel like cooking), we decided to venture into the world of eating out tonight. I called ahead to check out what they had on the buffet to be sure each child would have adequate choices. Problem? We choose a restaurant that was foreign to Sahara.

As she entered the building, she scoped out all of her surroundings and off she went. She had to walk (a.k.a. run) the entire perimeter of the restaurant before even glancing at the life-less food presentation. I tried to persuade her to entertain food options that she would have some interest in (pizza, plain noodles, plain lettuce, broccoli), but I knew the vast amount of odors were overwhelming her as was all the noise and people. She was over stimulated and on overload... and so was I.

However, it was the gazing and whispers of the bystanders that raised my anxiety the most.... I just wanted to yell, "she has autism... quit staring!". But, I bit my tongue and withheld my tears. I felt them burning in my eyes... but, I forced myself to not let my weakness conquer me. I felt a quiver in my throat as I told my husband to eat fast. Emily asked, "Why?". I scanned the room for just one understanding smile, but am left feeling disappointed, "I don't feel good."

Partly that was true. I was having high anxiety and I was sick to my stomach to see my child out of control. It is moments like this that we see how far we have to go. It is moments like this we realize that we do not have a typical life. It is moments like this that I look at all the other families with envy as they quietly sit and eat their meals. But...

The Cleavers we are not! And now that I am back in the comfort my home and the children are calm in the familiarity of smells, sights and sounds... I find peace. Yeah, the Cleavers we are not, but we are the Richardsons. We have diversity, unconditional love, courage and a unique view of the world and for that I am grateful!

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Bedtime Stemming and Emotions

The clock flashed 1:11 am....

My ears had been listening to the non-stop vocal stemming for 4 hours now. My eyes could barely stay open. I had tried every trick I had up my sleeve; brushing, reiki, floor-time... This was just something we had to ride out.

1:24 am...

I was tired, I knew we had a busy day ahead of us; Music therapy, occupational therapy, physical therapy, and speech therapy. Mondays are our busy days... coming off of a 3 week bout of the kidney stones my mind and body was tired and weak. So tired! Patience has been drained from my essence... I snapped in a voice that must have seemed ferocious to her, "SAHARA, PLEASE GO TO SLEEP!!"

She started to cry. Not a tired cry, but a pissed off 'you hurt my feelings kind of cry!'. She was screaming on top of her lungs this dramatic forced angry cry!! Then she yelled, "I HATE YOU!" (pause) "I HATE YOU!"

I was stunned!!

I laid there in disbelief, not sure if I should cry or laugh. I rewound to the moment my older daughter, Emily, uttered those painful 3 words. I remembered the devastation in my heart and felt a twinge of motherly pain.

1:28 am...

I wasn't sure how to respond, so I laid there listening to the screams and cries of her processing the foreign emotion of being pissed off at her mother. I felt bad I raised my voice. I felt guilty knowing she couldn't control the stemming. And I felt helpless in the knowledge that if I interrupted her, she would have to start all over resulting in a long sleepless night.

1:30 am...

Part of me was quietly relieved as I reached over to rub her warm back. She uttered those hateful words! This had huge significance! It meant that she understood she was pissed off and she understood she was pissed off at me... not the stemming, not the autism, but at her mother for losing her patience. She had come out of her stemming and appropriately experienced her emotions.

1:34 am...

She rolled over into my motherly arms and rest her head upon my breast. She whimpered as she fiddled with my fingers. "Sahara, I love you," I gently whisper as I stroked her tears away. "I love you more than the infinite universe."

1:36 am...

All was quiet. I heard the rise and fall of her exhausted sleep. I brushed away my tears and sighed, "I am so sorry."

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