Halloween Nights

Halloween is around the corner…. In fact just 10 days away.

It is a super-charged time for me. Firstly, it brings up significant memories for me. Secondly, this Halloween will be the 3^rd year anniversary of our daughter’s formal autism diagnosis… A day our life changed forever!

However, on that Halloween in 2008, I came home and I couldn't breathe…. I was in a stupor for 3 days. Ironically, in hindsight it reminds me of how I felt in the hard plastic masks we couldn’t breathe in as a child; they got unbearably hot as the night went on… which was odd since we lived on the water and the wind chill was certainly cold under the plastic princess dress that didn’t let you move properly and was sure to tear before we made it down even the first street in Jamestown.

No, I didn’t grow up in Virginia…. I don’t know how the community got the nick name other than there was a street close to our Catholic Church called James Street. And the little neighborhood nestled between Lake Erie, the park and the Catholic Church was known as Jamestown; everyone knew everyone back then. All the kids attended the K-12 school and all their parents had gone to school together and their parents and the parents before them.

(This was a nice part of growing up in a small Ohio town.)

On this night, all the cars from the families that lived on the outskirts would roll in and hundreds of kids would pave up and down the street while their parents were nestled warmly in the car waving to the elderly folks on the doorstep. House to house… until the last house of the night… Grandma’s House! That was the best stop, not really because it was Grandma (although this is one of my fondest memories of her)… but she was sure to give us the best treat of the night!!

We would pile back into the car and Mom would remind us not to eat ANY of the candy in our pillow case (our make shift bag) except the one from Grandma; of course because that would be the safest piece of candy in the bag. I am not sure what was in the news those years… I was little, but even though everyone knew everyone, we were not allowed to eat one piece until our parents checked the loot to make sure it was safe to consume… with no pins or tears in the wrapping.

On the way home, Dad would drive around the horn (the quiet peninsula on Lake Erie; another nickname I am not sure the history of) with the window cracked just enough to flick his cigarette ashes as we excitedly pestered our Mom until she said, “Okay, now you can eat your Hershey Bar!” Grandma’s Candy Bar was surely THE best piece of candy in the bag!!

Other memories float in the recess of my mind like the year my Brother made a homemade costume for the Fire Station Costume Contest… a huge pumpkin made out of mesh wire and newspaper with glue water painted bright orange. Not only did he win, but he fell walking down Jamestown and rolled down the street… Hysterical even to an 8 year old!

Or the year when we were much older and my siblings took me to my first Haunted House…. Which was pure terror even for a 16 year old. The ‘werewolf’ (not the warm and sunny kind that Jacob is in New Moon) picked up on my fear and ran with it. He wouldn’t leave me alone as we waited over an hour in line to go through… I was so scared I PICKED MY BROTHER UP and barricaded myself between him and a large tree. Mind you I was a tiny adolescent… could blow away in the wind; Fear and Adrenaline was my strength!! On the way home we laughed so hard we cried.

Halloween was a fun holiday!! As I moved grew older I still came home during my college years, dressed up and went Trick or Treating with my niece in Jamestown…

My husband and I had our first date on Oct. 27, 1988! We were supposed to go to a HauntedHouse, but ended up at

Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers.

Every year since, we watch a scary movie in honor of our first date. On our first Halloween Married, we went to a costume party as a Biker and his Bitch... we had a blast when no one recognized my new hubby! We went home the next day to celebrate what unknown to us would be my Father's last birthday. My Dad about flipped out when she saw my fake tatto... he thought it was real!! Of course, I milked the situation as best as I could until I thought he was going to kill me.... not really.

As we became parents ourselves, my love for Halloween continued. I loved seeing my little ones dressed up as little cows and ladybugs!! Of course they never ate the candy; I would take it in to my office and give it to my clients. On my oldest daughter’s fifth Halloween she handmade her costume…. Tinker Bell!!! She picked out the fabric, cut it, hand stitched it… for weeks she worked diligently on it. Taking pride and care in each stitch…

On that Beggar’s Night, we went Trick or Treating with a group of other parents and their kids. They were on a mission to get as much candy as possible, running from house to house. One mother had our whole route planned out to hit the most houses… as if she couldn’t afford to buy her own kid a Twix (said with a little contempt in my voice)! BUT, Emily didn’t go up to half the houses that night!! She danced n twirled like a real Pixie, while telling everyone who would listen about how she had made her own Tinker Bell Costume. She rolled down hills of leaves and was happy being removed from the drama around her.

Every year since, we have hand made our costumes… with a family theme:

Harry Potter, Toy Story, Fairy Tales, Egyptians, Puppies and Dog Catchers, And this year… Ancients!!

ANCEINTS… people or concepts of people that are from our past that still influence us today (Emily’s idea)… Ancestors that are from many many generations before us still bringing us enlightenment! Over the years, Halloween has become as significant to her as to me. I am sure on Nov. 1 she will be asking, “So, what do you want to be next year?”

On the Middle School bus yesterday, the kids were boasting about smashing pumpkins and taking the whole bowl of candy left on porches… my eldest daughter came home expressing how stunned she was. Emily said she couldn’t believe the disrespect and immaturity the kids were bragging about. When she called them on it, they gave her a hard time and asked, “Well, what do you do for fun then on Halloween?”

She, very matter of fact, told them she walked around with her family… They balked at her, but she continued to tell them about our family themes, and how her sister was diagnosed with Autism on Halloween 3 years ago. So for her little sister to design her own costume this year was a big deal; and supporting her sister was more important than the junk they were stealing.

She told me some of the kids got quiet, but the bully just went on with her rhetoric, but she didn’t mind. She said that she understands most families are not as close as we are… and she found that to be sad. She is very insightful… perhaps a true Ancient resides within her!!

This morning as I laid out our material and the intricate plans Emily has sketched for us for the construction of these costumes… I am reminded how Halloween has signified so many moments in my life! It isn’t about the loot and the monsters or the devil as some religious persons believe. It is about clean fun, family and creating memories with our children.

…This year will be no different. We will spend the next 10 days diligently working on our costumes for a night of family fun complete with Trick or Treating, Pumpkin Carving, Hot Homemade Chili waiting to warm us up afterwards…. AND FAMILY MILESTONES!!

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I AM ME... The Autism Discussion with my Daughter

Every year the Ohio State Fair marks a monumental moment for us... the home stretch of summer break. This year was no different... until we arrived there and then the twists and turns of the day lead to an unexpected turning point in our world of autism...

We were greeted by a procession of dozens of motorcycle cops blowing their horns with flashing lights... what was the big deal??

SANTA!

Sahara is obsessed with Santa (and I mean that literally). The past 3 weeks have been riddled with Christmas Carols, crafts and plans about how we now have a fireplace to accommodate The Big Guy entering the house Christmas Eve... never mind you it is the dog days of summer. This has left me wondering why we tell our children this lie.

Now once upon a time I thought this was a magical right of passage.

Today? I see how my older NT daughter is completely upset that I had lied to her all of these years. And although I know we shall get through this, it leaves me wondering how we will address this exaggeration of the truth to our autistic daughter. The not so well thought out excuse, “The spirit of Santa Clause lives in us all as long as we believe,” will certainly not suffice to my concrete thinker.

I have even started saying to her, “What if Mommy is Santa?” And she looks at me with a ‘I don’t understand’ expression and moves on. In fact, these are one of those moments in parenthood that you regret bringing mainstream delusions into the world of autism. I suspect that this will be a very difficult situation to overcome...

Anyways, let’s get back at the State Fair.

Each year we have a previous year’s experience to help measure our progress.... and HUGE MILESTONES were evident.

From being able to ride independently on rides as we stood on the side lines looking on just like the other parents ... to her exclaiming that she wanted to go on the Big Yellow Slide and The Caterpillar (junior roller coaster). What is so amazing about that? She asked for them before she saw them... which means she not only remembered the fair from previous years, but had the words to tell us.

Having more and more words coupled with receptive communication has been our biggest growth this past year (especially the past several months).

Words were sandwiched between every activity... but there we moments that reminded us that autism was still in our midst.

... like the time she refused to stop playing with the squirt guns at the water balloon game... the Carnie yelled, “hey kids if you aren’t going to play, stop touching the guns.” Of course Sahara didn’t understand his words muted over the back ground noises... so I quickly come to her defense, “she has autism and doesn’t understand you”. He huffs away, we move on.

.... or the time she ran across the bridge on an obstacle course and that Carnie yelled at her to stop running and when she didn’t he grabbed her arm and told her to go back and walk the bridge or she wouldn’t be allowed to come back on the rest of the day. I am hot, exhausted and snap, “she has autism". Then he gave me a look like ‘make her listen lady or else’ so I add, ".... I am doing the best I can.”

A few weeks ago I caught myself on numerous occasions saying in reference to her, “She has autism”, as a defense against perceived odd, annoying, or challenging behaviors. I wondered what message that this sent her? I remember thinking that I didn’t want her to use this label as an excuse and I didn’t want her to identify herself solely on this label and so I vowed to shift my language and beliefs. I obviously didn’t do very well with the oath at the Fair.

Each time this ‘defense’ came out of my mouth, I was left with a feeling of regret in my heart. And found my internal dialog was desperately trying to find an alternate way of responding (not reacting) to others frustrations, judgments, and demands on my child who IS EXCEPTIONAL BEYOND THIS LABEL!!

I realized at the fair that this is so much more about me than her... [or so I thought]. My daughter is good at teaching me huge lessons in life... patience, faith, trust, compassion, endurance, etc. This day was no different...

After using the bathroom, she washed her hands. As I looked down I knew that she was going to tear her wrist band for the rides off as soon as I saw it get wet... there was no convincing her to keep it on. She has sensory issues around water... so I knew the wet band was irritating her wrist.

Her dad and sister took off to go ride the big rides while we headed to the other side of the park to see if they would issue a new tag.

Honestly, I didn’t want to shelve out another $22 for a new wrist band and was panicked that they wouldn’t cooperate with my request. We arrived to the tent which was empty all except a middle aged man sitting at a table. He looks up and asks what I need and I blurt out, “My daughter has autism and tore her wrist band off when it got wet, can we get a new one?”

No Resistance.

No questions.

Just an understanding nod of the head.

He has her sit down and he repairs the band and puts it on her ankle over her sock to prevent further skin irritation... pretty sure he has done this before or perhaps he has a special child in his own life.

I am taken by surprise when Sahara starts to sob as we are walking out of the tent. I get down on my knees and ask why she is upset. Her answer punches me in the heart... “AUTISM”... I embrace her and we cry for a moment together... “I SAD!!”

“Does autism make you sad?”

A very clear articulate, “YES!”

“Do you want me to stop saying you have autism?”

She looks me in the eyes and says an even more articulate and clear, “YES!!”

I am floored... I don’t know if I should laugh or cry. On one hand, I am relieved she knows about the autism. Yet on the other, it is my own damn sense of insecurity and my Mama Bear reactions that most likely resulted in her awareness.... and she doesn’t like it... in fact, she said it makes her sad.

I always wondered when we would have “the autism discussion”... I never pictured it happening organically at the Ohio State Fair. But there it is.... “Yes, Sahara, you have autism... but no it does not define you. You are, can do and will become anything you so choose.”

So there it is... My 7 year old quasi verbal child just reminded me why I educate others that our kids are exceptional beyond labels... I have gone introspective and decided it really isn’t anyone’s business why my child has quirks... and really that IS my issue not hers. In her own way, she made it quite clear, that she is not defined by autism... she is Sahara Grace. And so, I move forward into our new chapter of our newly defined world within autism.

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Morning Gratitude

Morning Gratitude: Thank You God for trusting me enough to be the mother of these special kids!! Last night I was listening to Sahara talk, yes talk, to Emily and her BFF and I said to Jim... THIS is the same child that the psychologist wanted us to institutionalize... even through all the advocating and tears, I am so humbled to walk this path with them. THEY give our life deeper meaning and for that I am forever grateful!! ♥

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Still Autism Awareness Month: Your beliefs are important.

It is April 11th and it is still autism awareness month... Are you aware?

When Sahara was just 4 and a half, we were told to prepare to institutionalize her!!

Why?

Because she was catatonic, non-verbal, socially withdrawn, and we were opting to not participate in ABA therapy.

Once we got the confirmation of the label... the denial subsided... and we got to work. It was hard; I will not sugar coat it. I worked 24/7 while trying to make life seem as normal as possible for my whole family.

TODAY she is no longer catatonic, she is a funny, intelligent, determine little girl with potential beyond your comprehension. No, she isn't cured. Yes, she will always have to work a little hard than everyone else. But, we have undeniably made great strides and are well on our way to creating a typical life for her. Typical? What is that anyways?

Never except sub-standards for your child.... your thoughts & beliefs are more important than prognosis from professionals... if you believe she can, she will!!! Sometimes that is all there is to give me strength to go on. I am glad we did it MY way... Sahara will do all of the things that they tried to tell us that she wouldn't... and more!!

Why?

Because her father, her sister and I believe she can... and now we are finding out that so does she. And that belief is what gives us opportunities and empowerment. My expectations are higher than anyones, who better to be her life coach?

This isn't airy-fairy wishful thinking. It takes time, energy, sweat, tears and let's not forget lots of money that never seems to be there... but all of those things are delicately balanced between laughter, joy, hope and unconditional love.

We have come a long way in a mere 2 years... speech, eye contact, parallel play, interactive play, expressive communication, gross and fine motor development... and the catatonia? Gone like the wind.... never to come back.

SAHARA WILL DO OR BECOME ANYTHING SHE DESIRES.

WHY?

BECAUSE SHE HAS THIS FAMILY BEHIND HER....

AND WE SEE POTENTIAL WHEN NO ONE ELSE DOES...

ROCK ON LITTLE GIRL!!!!!!

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Everyday Reiki Class for Special Needs Parents & Advocates

I thought I would post an upcoming event I am facilitating. My 'soul' purpose for this class is to empower other parents and advocate with a simple, yet profound tool we have been using daily with our children for the past few years. If you are in central Ohio I hope you can join us.

THIS PRACTICAL CLASS WILL EMPOWER PARENTS & ADVOCATES OF SPECIAL NEEDS CHILDREN TO USE HANDS-ON REIKI FOR EVERYDAY CHALLENGES.

Reiki is a Japanese healing technique that can be performed in a variety of ways promoting ease and relaxation for the participants.

Be prepared to learn what Reiki (energy) is, how to use it and how its application can assist in the daily challenges of the special needs family & classroom.

Other material covered will include how autism and other disorders are related to the CHAKRA SYSTEM and how MEDITATION & the POWER OF INTENTION can dramatically effect our children.

Dress in comfortable clothing and bring a yoga mat or towel to lay on during the hands-on exercises. Refreshments will be available.

WHY I OFFER THIS CLASS:

They say pictures speak a thousand words.... The left pic is my daughter when she was in an autistic state of catatonia (Note the distance in her eyes). The right pic is 4 months later after consistent Reiki/Energy Work.

http://www.facebook.com/ph

oto.php?fbid=1015029004727

0440&set=a.101502900470454

40.540810.329192760439

DISCLAIMER:

Reiki doesn't cure Autism Spectrum Disorder, ADD, ADHD, ODD, PDD-NOS or any other emotional/physical conditions, however by alleviating some of the major energetic stressors in these very sensitive children, overall calming effects can take place without interfering with conventional treatments. In fact, we have found some of the more traditional therapies to be more effective in conjunction with Reiki.

COST:

Cash or a secure payment via paypal... please reference the email: LadySusan@sbcglobal.net

$100

IF you have a medical card or receive county funding, let me know... although I do not accept those funding sources (yet) I will offer you a discounted rate.

ABOUT ME:

Susan E. Richardson, BS ~ Art Therapy, MRC ~ Counseling, Reiki Master

I have a unique background in counseling, holistic wellness and a variety of energy healing modalities. I have been compassionately leading experiential groups and classes for 13 years. I use Reiki daily with my family and have seen miraculous changes in my daughter on that is on the autistic spectrum with consistent Reiki. My goal is to share this information with others so that they may experience similar results.

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Dr. Temple Grandin: Animal Behavior, The Autistic Brain and Inspiration!

Many people get excited about meeting their favorite rock star or movie star… not me, I wanted to meet a livestock behavior expert!!

You may ask, ‘Why on earth would Alterna-Mom, a mid-west special needs mom, be interested in livestock behavior?’. Well, I am not. And yet, ironically I completely am. See, Dr. Temple Grandin isn’t just the world’s most famous animal expert and livestock rights advocate, Dr. Grandin has also won the hearts of the global autism community through her self-advocacy and insights on how the autistic brain works. … yes, that is right a DOCTOR of animal science who has autism!! She unknowingly paved the way for many of us to see that our children and loved ones are exceptional beyond labels and can achieve anything they desire.

BUSTING MYTHS

Dr. Grandin was diagnosed at age 3 ½ with non-verbal autism (infantile schizophrenia). The doctors wanted to institutionalize her, because, frankly, that is all they knew how to do back then. In her generation, it was common to ship off the children that were ‘different’, however having an independent thinking and educated mother who saw potential when no one else did, Temple was given proper early intervention and support which has cultivated a drive within her like none I have seen. Temple is a confident, successful and witty business woman and autism/animal rights advocate.

Busting the myths of autism, Temple and her Mother, with sweat and tears, were able to give Temple the tools she needed to become all she is today:

"Dr Grandin obtained her B.A. at Franklin Pierce College, her M.S. in Animal Science at Arizona State University and her Ph.D in Animal Science from the University of Illinois in 1989. Today she teaches courses on livestock behavior and facility design at Colorado State University and consults with the livestock industry on animal welfare.

Dr. Grandin has appeared on television shows such as 20/20, 48 Hours, CNN Larry King Live, PrimeTime Live, the Today Show, and many shows in other countries. She has been featured in People Magazine, the New York Times, Forbes, U.S. News and World Report, Time Magazine, the New York Times book review, and Discover magazine. She has also authored over 400 articles in both scientific journals and livestock periodicals. Her books 'Animals in Translation' and 'Animals Make Us Human' were both on the New York Times best seller list. 'Animals Make Us Human' was also on the Canadian best seller list.

In 2010, Time Magazine named her one of the 100 most influential people." ~ Michele Gwynn

When a friend informed me that Dr. Temple Grandin, Ph. D. was coming to Ohio State University to talk about dog and horse behavior, I was determined to see her. This is my personal reaction to that evenings presentation.

LIVESTOCK, PUPPY MILLS AND ANIMAL BEHAVIOR

Dr. Grandin’s presentation on animal behavior was intriguing. Every insight she shared… seemed common sense. However, she diligently expressed that when we are in the moment of behavior issues with our pet and livestock it is hard to step aside and see the details that might be triggering the behavior. (Kind of like our kids, don’t’ you think? How many times do we find ourselves wondering, “That was so obvious, why didn’t I think of that?”)

The presentation covered the horror of Ohio being the Puppy Mill Capital of the United States (alarming!!) and that Ohio is 1 of 15 states where it is still legal to auction dogs (sad!!)… The take home message was this: DON’T BUY DOGS/PETS!! Go to a rescue or humane society to adopt… this will put puppy mills and breeders out of business. Aside the fact that we have too many dogs already in the world without homes, I couldn’t conceptualize why we purchase and purposely breed even more? This part of the night was shocking to me. The local groups that sponsored this event shared horror stories about puppy mills and breeding… I don’t want to share those raw details here, but it is down-right tragic and cruel!

Dr. Grandin talked about breeding and genetics. When we try to breed for the best and strongest genes/traits we also get unexpected discrepancies… the best way for me to summarize the ironic message here is that when we try to create superior breeds we end up with the weakest: physical and behavior issues are emerging at an all time high because of breeders interfering with and breeding for the best traits like blue eyes and fertility. Dr. Grandin says that if you want a fancy breed of dog… for instance the Golden-Doodle… Firstly, only get one from someone that can present the mother to you… if the mother isn’t present, don’t get the dog. Secondly, make sure it is a first generation Golden-Doodle… with one parent being a Poodle and the other a Golden Retriever.

The last take home message on this topic was too “test drive before you buy” so to speak. Just because some kids have had success with pets, doesn’t mean all will. Make sure the pet is a good match for child as well as the pet.

THE AUTISTIC BRAIN AND ENABLING

Dr. Grandin has raised the bar with animal care in the livestock industry and she has studied the behavior of animals most of her life. More amazingly, she has been able to give us a peep into the mind of an autistic. This has given Dr. Grandin the rare opportunity to educate the world about the similarity between thought patterns of autistics and animals.

Of course, I was pleased to hear Dr. Grandin talk about this topic (after all that was the main reason I wanted to come to this event). She talked about the autistic mind thinking in pictures and how the autistic mind, similar to an animal’s, categorizes everything. Her insights have helped me to understand my children better and left my tween walking away saying… you know that is how my brain works too. This opened the door to a fantastic conversation about the aspie traits we recognize within her and how this doesn’t change her core.

Dr. Grandin talked about how children today are not ‘pushed’ like she was. And although we have more supports and interventions than ever before, the parents and other significant others in the child’s life today, enable them use their condition as an excuse to not have responsibility and goals. She says that as long as a child can talk, make them talk for themselves. Make them get up at a descent hour and have a productive day. Make them accountable for all they do. Give them opportunities to cultivate the desires, interests and dreams. Don’t use the label “autism” for an excuse.

She further illustrated this point by acknowledging that as a child she loved going to the beach and letting sand drip through her hands… this simple, almost hypnotizing action, focused and soothed her (sound familiar?). However, she stated that if that was all she was allowed to do, then she wouldn’t have been giving the opportunities, skills and determination that lead her to the events in her life that brought her on the stage talking to us that evening. Because her mother pushed her beyond the stimming, she was able to become the successful woman that she is today.

TECHNOLOGY & SERENDIPITY

At one point, Dr. Grandin told several aspies in the audience to use the power of “Google” to open avenues for their own hopes and dreams… she said today’s generation have it very easy in comparison to the what it took her to accomplish her goals. Dr. Grandin said that with all the technology we have today (and gave credit to all the aspies who made THAT possible) that anyone anywhere could open doors easily. She referenced what I term as ‘serendipity’. She said to go out and meet people on social networking sites and present your own work and portfolio. She was adamant that if you met the right person doors would open for you…

(Side bar plug: So, I hope an editor or publishing house sees my blog/writing and someday picks me up… )

Speaking of plugs, Dr. Grandin talked about her HBO movie, Temple Grandin. I loved her enthusiasm and the beam in her eye when she relayed that every fact presented in the movie was accurate; if you want to know how an autistic mind thinks, watch her movie; if you want to know how a cattle chute or livestock yard is run, watch her movie; if you want to know her life story up until she was 30, watch her movie… I believe from observing her body language and the enthusiasm in her voice that she is very proud of not only this movie, but having had a hand in the making of it.

Another thing Temple was vocal about was her drawings. She adamantly stated that it took her 3 years of practice to draw cattle chutes in the manner that she can. And that the drawing in the boardroom during the movie, is an actual drawing of her’s.

CURE VS. RECOVERY

One mom in the audience even thanked her for the insight and inspiration that she offers so many of us! There were several apsies in the audience, one in which asked her about organizations like Autism Speaks. Dr. Grandin didn’t directly answer the question, but instead gave a 5 minute impromptu lecture against the curing of autism spectrum disorders.

She ended the mini lecture with 2 points:

1) If you cured every person who had autistic traits, we would no longer have any scientists or computer geeks to advance our world.

2) If you cured a person of their autistic traits, you would take a component of who they are at the core of their being away.

I have thought a lot about this point over the past 6 years. I do not want to cure my child of the unique abilities and attributes that make her her, but I do aim to soften the challenges that make life difficult. I want to address her functional expressive and receptive communication skills, her dietary needs, her delayed motor skills, her sleep disorder, her raw frustrations, and to curb her inherent need to flee to protect her from bodily harm. (… this list could go on.) However, beneath these challenges, there is a core within her existence… a witty, funny, determined, moody, intelligent, confident little girl that without a doubt will use some of her autism attributes to define her persona and create an exceptional woman who can and will be able to accomplish anything she so desires.

DIFFERENT, NOT LESS

I imagine this is what Temple’s mother meant when she said, “different, not less.” And as I watched this magnificent woman on stage talk with us, I saw how she was different; her rigid body movement, her deliberate gestures & need to put her hands in her pockets at specific moments, her articulation of words, her ability to recite the lecture she certainly was reading from the pictorial memory within her brain, her obsessive passion for animals and the consistent ability to relate the animal behavior to that of the autism. But, I also saw this woman who had a charming sense of humor, a passion for her animal mates, a sense of confidence as she articulated her mastery of the subject at hand, a sense of pride about her artistic skills, and the desire and ability to engage with the audience. Most importantly, I saw a woman (whom I respect and adore) present herself with all her little quirks and nuances with an aura of being exceptional beyond the label of autism.

I am proud to have Dr. Temple Grandin be a role model for my young girls. She was everything I expected her to be and more.

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Counting Candy Bars & Breaking Stigmas!

This is HUGE!!!

Sahara counted out 5 Hershey bars at the store (ignore that I let her eat candy bars).

So 1 was thrown away because it melted in the car and 1 was eaten in the store while shopping ... she pulled out the remaining 3 just now at home and counted them and said, "1,2,3.... no 4, 5... where 5? Oh No. Where'd it go?"

Yes, that would be my girl doing MATH!!!!

YAY!!

Tears of Joy Here!

That would be the same kid that was catatonic a year ago and the same kid they said couldn't count 3 months ago and, yes, the same kid they said would never be unable to live, work or socialize independently...

Busting through the stigma people!! If you don't believe in energy work and the power of intention and maternal love I am here to tell you it works! Don't let anyone tell you your kids can't do anything... and if they do... prove them wrong!! Sahara you Rock, Little Miss!! You are my greatest teacher!!

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Do you Support Females on the Autism Spectrum? I DO!!

Every morning for the past 11 days I have been reminding my online friends to vote for the Pepsi refresh Project. Specifically, I have asked them to support The Autism Women’s Network to win a $50,000 grant to fund AWN’S PROJECT FAIM (Female Autistic Insight Mentoring) which will host workshops across the USA.

Why is that so important to me?

…Simply, because I have a six year old daughter on the autism spectrum. Really I think that is enough of a reason, don’t you?

Before autism was intimately in my life, I had a fairy tale version of what my life would look like in my head. Yeah, I believe there may have even been a white picket fence in that dream. Silly Me!

When I started noticing (as early as 5 months of age) that my daughter wasn’t developing typically I went through the whole range of emotions… denial, anger, blame – you name it, it was there. Eventually after oceans of tears, I was able to move into a place of acceptance and even gratitude.

Autism HAS blessed my life with friends, opportunities and self growth that would have other wised failed to exist. But, that is my life… it is full of optimism. But, then I hesitate and think about my daughter's future… what will that look like? Will she dream of white picket fences?

Hold the breaks Mom… she is only six!!

Yes, I know, but I don’t think any differently about her life than I do about her neuro-typical sister’s. And with her sister in the middle of the tween-age years I am filled with more questions than answers:

Self esteem ~ Boys ~ Hygiene ~ Dating ~ Peer Pressure ~ Accountability ~ Respect for Self and Others ~ Hormones ~ Friends ~ Academics ~ Body Image ~ Sibling Rivalry ~ Drugs & Alcohol ~ Safe Sex ~ Female Empowerment ~ Communication

And as I am faced with these new issues with her sister, I cannot help but to wonder how I will address this with her. These issues are huge, but couple them with the challenges of autism...

Sensory Processing Issues ~ Communication Barriers ~ Environmental and Dietary Sensitivities ~ Discrimination ~ Physical Limitations ~ Emotional Imbalances ~ Vulnerabilities ~ Stemming ~ Pictorial Thinking ~ Facial Cue Integration ~ Socialization Challenges ~ Cognitive Delays

... and it can be overwhelming. How do I educate her? How do I promote safety? How will she develop self esteem and confidence?

Today she seems to have no awareness of most of these things… she lives for the moment, but that doesn’t mean I don’t prepare myself and become proactive in the female issues that she will eventually face.

I can even let my mind wander about her adult future and what that will look like and what challenges she may or may not endure … And I wonder how does being a female autistic impact these issues for her? How will she get the support she needs to be successful in whatever SHE chooses to do with her life? How will she become an empowered woman when she faces obvious challenges? How will she access the resources she needs for life skills?

College ~ Independent Living ~ Career ~ Marriage ~ Family ~ Childbirth ~ Motherhood ~ Abuse ~ Sexuality ~ Relationships ~ Rape ~ Civil Rights ~ Finances

Raising a daughter has its challenges… add autism to it and it becomes even more challenging.

I am perfectly capable of rising to this challenge… but that doesn’t mean I don’t reach out for supports and education. To me that is what the FAIM project is doing. My daughter does have some empowered Autistic Women on her side, advocating for her and it is through their experience that I embrace hope and yes even excitement about her future.

AWN through their FAIM project will visit 5 US cities to provide “effective supports to autistic females of all ages through sense of community, advocacy, and resources.” This is something our community needs… by community I mean the Female Autistic Community. As a mother to a female child on the autism spectrum, I believe that is my community too. And in my corner of the world we respect, support and encourage members of our community. So... having said that, I am asking all of my friends to support AWN with there vision.

Here is a list of things that this grant will provide (taken directly from the Pepsi Refresh Project Page)…

The Autism Women's Network is unique in that it was founded by women on the autism spectrum. Our mission is to provide effective supports to autistic females of all ages through a sense of community, advocacy, and resources.

· AWN's Project FAIM (Female Autistic Insight Mentoring) workshops will be the 1st of its kind.

· We plan to set up 5 Project FAIM Workshops across the USA which will focus on qualities specific to females on the autism spectrum. Topics will include: peer supports, adolescence, adult life, relationships, vulnerabilities and successful communications. Project FAIM Workshops will include active supports and information for everyone (autistics, parents, educators, etc.)

· The participants will meet renowned autistic females whereby gaining valuable insight.

· We will secure the Autism Women's Network non-profit status so we can continue to provide Community Events, online Forum support & E-Mentoring as well as our AWN Radio Show.

I believe that this grant will start a ripple effect that is needed among the female autistic population. So

, I invite you to vote for The Autism Women’s Network to win a $50,000 grant to fund AWN’S PROJECT FAIM (Female Autistic Insight Mentoring) daily until the end of this month, August 31, 2010.

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MAMAPALOOZA COLUMBUS IS BECOMING THE BUZZ OF THE CITY

Mamapalooza Columbus is a branch of Mamapalooza Inc., a mom-owned and operated mother advocacy organization founded by Joy Rose of New York City. Mamapalooza Columbus is connecting local women, mothers and families through music, expressive arts, activism and education for cultural, economic and social awareness. This past May marks the fourth anniversary of Mamapalooza Columbus which has not only created a buzz, but inspired a Mamapalooza Committee of Coordinators, a Back to School Event and even one of the Mamas being showcased on Mamapalooza TV and the Museum of Motherhood.

Columbus, Ohio September, 2010 – Mamapalooza Inc.'s ongoing mission is to create authentic, inspirational, large-scale experiences that will reach millions. Mamapalooza Columbus is energetically helping this mission come to fruition.

It was Mamapalooza Columbus 2010 that inspired four Mothers to unite for the empowerment of the women, mothers and families of Columbus, Ohio. Eileen Clary (HandyGirl!) is leading this committee and is credited with starting the action in Columbus as the Regional Coordinator since 2006. Vanessa Abel (Earth Flutter), Joanie Calem (Sing Along and Dance Along) and Susan Richardson (Exceptional Beyond Labels) have joined Eileen as a Committee of Coordinators and have already begun the planning stages for a Back to School event this fall.

This Committee of Coordinators is hoping more mothers in the city of Columbus will join in the fun with innovative activities that impact the women, mothers and families of Columbus. If you have a product or service that focuses on creativity, fun, health, wellness, financial education, expressive arts or if you’re a Mom-preneur, Mamapalooza Columbus wants you to buzz in too!

Some of the other folks involved with Mamapalooza Columbus 2010 were Randi Mockensturm, Tenara & Candice, 7th House Moon, Majestic Belly Dancing, Elliot 12Trees, Leslie Zak, Nancy Miller/Scentsy, Cynthia Minnich/Clearartview, On The Spot Mobile Massage & Bodywork, Columbus Acupuncture & Wellness Center, and Global Gallery. Thank YOU for making Mamapalooza Columbus 2010 the buzz of the city!

Alexis Chapman, Independent Contractor for M.O.M. (Museum of Motherhood), came out to personally support Mamapalooza Columbus 2010. M.O.M. is a sister organization to Mamapalooza Inc., devoted to educating the world about the contributions of mothers both historically and in contemporary culture. Alexis connected with the Columbus mothers and stayed to enjoy some of the Moms that were rocking the stage! Later she connected with one of the committee coordinators, Susan Richardson, and asked her to be a guest blogger on M.O.M. and to be interviewed on Mamapalooza TV.

Mamapalooza Columbus looks forward to showcasing more mothers and connecting them with Mamapalooza Inc., Museum of Motherhood, Mamapalooza TV and other venues to bring the much needed awareness about the impact of mothers on our community. As Mamapalooza Columbus gains momentum and builds a buzz in the city, they will be looking for reciprocal sponsors to become involved as well as the perfect spot to hold Mamapalooza Columbus 2011 in May. For additional information on Mamapalooza Columbus, contact Eileen Clary at e_motok@yahoo.com. You can also get more information on Mamapalooza Inc. at www.Mamapalooza.com.

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