I have met an Incredible Mother, Sheila Stark Medlam, who has touched my heart. I wish I had met her under different circumstances, but here we are nonetheless… Sheila not a day goes by that I do not think about you and your son, Mason!!
I always say Autism has blessed my life with fabulous heart centered friends!
… but what if Autism and the Death of Your Child blessed you with friends?
Could you find the blessing within such a tragedy?
Would you find the strength to face another day?
Could you ever echo another laugh?
How would you go on?
How do you go on?
I do not know the answers to these questions. But I do know that by the grace of God, Sheila is turning the tragic drowning of her 5 year old son, Mason, into a much needed safety awareness movement in the autism and special needs community through the MASON ALLEN MEDLAM FOUNDATION.
Sheila told her story to the IACC this week (here at minute 157-168) and advocated for the other 92% of children with autism who wander. Listen to hear Sheila talk with The Autism Women's Network about The Mason Foundation HERE.
You can listen to more statistic and stories here starting at minute 47.
This is why I personally haven't slept in 6 years... My daughter has slept in my bed with one of my hands on her back at all times out of fear of her fleeing into the night despite door locks and chains. Recently, I decided to give her some autonomy; she woke up in the night and removed the screen from her second story window. I thank God nothing tragic happened that night, but I know the risk is always there!
There have been times that she has fleed from the home during the day. She has been found in a tree house naked near a neighbor’s pool, behind houses and trees. Our children do not respond like typical children. Many are non-verbal and do not respond to their name when called. Many are attracted to dangerous situations like water, railroad tracks, streets and animals. … And because these children have an invisible disability they are very vulnerable to predators.
To learn more about some tools to help protect your loved one visit AWAARE… Working to prevent incidents and deaths within the autism community!
In Pensacola, FL the Take Me Home Program was created through the combined efforts of Officer Jimmy Donohoe and the Police department's Software provider. Basically, it is a system designed as a registry that has a photo of theat risk child or adult who is prone to wandering, some basic information about the person, and where they live.
Just 89 Days after Mason’s death, Sheila learned that they would be willing to make changes to the this already FREE program to incorporate the MASON ALERT information including:
A current picture of the child.
Child's address and Contact information.
Their facinations: i.e. railroads, small spaces, water
Locations of all nearby hazards such as tracks, pools, ponds, abandoned houses, busy intersections.
Notify if the child is verbal or nonverbal. This is very important, because when we search for someone, we tend to stand in one place and shout the person's name. A nonverbal child won't respond to this AT ALL. When I arrived home, the police were shouting Mason's name. I could have been standing right beside him, shouting his name and not gotten a response.
How the child reacts under stress. i.e. do they hide, do they run, do they fight, do they shut down and just stand still.
And finally, how to approach the child and who needs to approach the child. In some instances, authorities will just have to immediately react if the child is in immediate danger, but in other instances, it might be better to wait for a parent or caregiver, and taking this step might help eliminate danger.
I encourage everyone to contact their local law enforcement to inquire how to implement this program. In the mean time, please sign the MASON ALERT PETITION.
Sheila,
I am deeply sorry for your loss. I will not pretend to know your pain, but I do intimately know the raw fear that took your precious boy. Please know that I am honored that you have found the strength to advocate for my daughter and the other children and adults who wander in our community...
You are right politics should not have prevented someone or some organization or political structure from doing something to prevent Mason's untimely death!! You have an entire community grieving with you and holding your hand as you advocate for our loved ones! My daily prayers are with you, Mason and your entire family!!
Susan
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