More than I Bargained For

I know I promised an update with the coke and oil cleanse.... I have been contemplating how to put it delicately. Delicately? Well, if I am going to keep it delicate, I must keep it brief...

I am passing stones; tiny sand like particles... even still!

I drank 48 ounces of water with 4 drops of lemon and 4 drops of grapefruit YL essential oils before bed the night before... when I woke up, I had an explosive bowel movement. I didn't feel sick, in fact, I felt great!!

I drank the soda between 8:30-10:30am, then didn't eat anything other than the oil and water mixture til 3:00pm when I had a cup of soup... I just wasn't hungry. Drinking all that soda was nasty... so I kept drinking the water and oil with the intent of flushing the soda out of my body. At 7:00pm I passed more than stones... I don't know how, why or when... in fact, I didn't know THAT could come out of THAT... pretty sure I need to take a sample to the doc and talk with him about my discovery.

Yesterday, I ate less than usual, but continued to drink lots of water with the oils... and I passed more of what alarmed me the night before... Got way more than I bargained for with that cleanse... not sure if it was the coke, the oils or a combination... but something got something moving...

I am grateful I decided to do this cleanse.... knowledge is power!!

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Kidney Stone, Coke and Oil

My breakfast this morning consists of:

12 cans of coke

1 bunch of aspargus

distilled water

Burp!!

This is what I am doing this morning... Dissolving Kidney Stone with Coke for those of you who know me well, know I haven't drank pop in 12 years!! (this is not fun, burp!!)

I am going to follow it up with a 30 day cleanse with Young Living Lemon and Grapefruit Essential Oils. In fact, last night I took 4 drops of each to pave the way for this mornings yummy recipe (sarcasm)... and let me just say, "I know something cleansed from the urinary track."

For those of you who don't know this: I have had chronic kidney stones since last February and you can read more here here and here .

Oh, and I also have a bottle of Eucalyptus Blue Oil on hand just in case this gets painful. And you can read how that is significant to this whole adventure here.

Bottoms Up!!

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Stop Exposing Me

Dear Lobby,

I cannot take it anymore. I despise you for exposing me to all kinds of illnesses… and more so, that you expose my children!! We wait in you for autism therapy (speech, OT, PT & Social skills).... but so do the patients there for lab and chest x-rays.

I even said something once to the ‘suits’ doing an inspection on you… they smiled and shrugged me off.

Oh, once I also told the receptionist (when calling off sick) that I know I picked something up from you… and she said, “I bet you did.” I retorted, “Well I am going to formally complain, they need to give us a separate waiting area.”

Her reply? “Good luck with that.” (I bet she was holding a sarcasm sign!!)

…But I am serious!!

They make us sit 3-4 times a week in you… you are a tiny space that is mutually shared by others waiting for lab work and chest x-rays. This year I have never been so sick… the flu, colds, coughs, muscle aches, etc. I know I am picking it up from you.

In fact just today, while we were waiting, a mother and her 2 children came in for bi-lateral chest x-rays (confidentiality isn’t too good in you). The mother said to the youngest, “Oh baby, you are going to cough up a lung.” And believe me…it sounded like it!!! His sister wasn’t much better either… so I was relieved to see them go to the far side of you…

UNTIL… she told them to go play. Here they come waddling and coughing… straight at us. They stop to play with a toy right at our feet. I mumble to my daughter, “Maybe WE should go get a face mask!” I squirm and the mother calls them back.

Inside I feel bad, I know the waiting arrangements are not her fault… but I am pissed that week after week; day after day… we have to sit here with really sick kids waiting for lab work!! I am sure the mother sees my discomfort and she goes up to the registration desk and asks for a face mask… but just one. Never mind you the other child is hacking too!!

Her child starts to scream… I feel bad. I try to make eye contact to show empathy and she is obviously avoiding me. I shouldn’t feel bad; I am tired of being exposed to all of these germs. I never bought into the germ theory until this past winter…

The child screams some more… I look over with another look of empathy and am met with glaring eyes. The children hack some more and the receptionist comes out to give the mom some paper work and says, “Man, they are really really sick…” I cringe more… I know they have a right to be here, but do I have to have my immune system and that of my children attacked too?

All I want is to bring my children to therapy without having to be exposed to whooping cough, the flu and the like. I want to reclaim my health…

Sincerely,

Alterna-Mom

P.S. I forgot… You might consider yourself warned… I ordered THIS and I am bringing it with me next week… I will be spraying you, your chairs and toys. Robbers successfully used these oils to protect themselves while they robbed the plague victims…. Are you up to the challenge? I have let my friends know about this arsenal and told them to reference my number 1183617 … so the other lobbies will know it came from me. Good Luck!!

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Autisms Sneak Attack on My Heart

It has been a rough week in the world of autism at the Richardson’s…

~ PICA reared its ugly head again… I do not comprehend how my daughter can eat foam off of the underside of the mini-trampoline, yet refuse to eat the wholesome yummy food I loving create for the family. (Although, I know this isn’t a logical quest meant to understand… Pica isn’t rational.) But, not only foam; toilet paper, foil, string… yak!! The thought makes me cringe. I try to focus in those moments that this is not a conscious decision… it is part of the autism.

~ She is still obsessed with fire. We have thrown away every candle in the house… but it is not like we can just curb the gas stove. I have looked at locks and nothing seems Sahara-proof. I wonder what the fascination is with the fire. …The cause and effect? …The beautiful flicker? …The control? Perhaps all of it… Regardless, the lingering smell in the house is haunting!!! The innocent, “nothinnnnng” is undeniably infuriating… The fear is grasping!! I acknowledge I may never sleep again…

~ With young girls in the house, I have an open door bathroom policy. I view it as a natural way to educate them about proper feminine hygiene and the like. Well… until I found Sahara this week… with a tampon and trying to insert it up her rear-end. (Did I state that gently enough?) Realizing she thinks there are only 2 exits down there; how do you explain the 3^rd to an autistic child with communication delays? Needless to say the tampons have been locked down with the other random items of mischief. But, I am still left standing… wondering… pondering… how do I teach her about the birds n the bees and body changes?

~ Which leads us to the next event of the week… usually when Sahara is too quiet… we worry!! When I went up stairs to check on her, the bathroom door slammed. Once I got in the room, I was horrified to find she had climbed the linen closet (top shelf) to get down a razor… well, it could have been worse. (I remember my niece’s first blood ridden trial shave vividly!) But, luckily Sahara was just left with razor burned arm pits (which really is bad enough)!! So, yes, now the razors are residing with the tampons under lock and key.

~ The ultimate meltdown this week was exacerbated by tears… yup, her own tears compounded her meltdown. She has major sensory issues around getting wet… and her tears during her melt down flew her into a whirlwind of emotions and physical pain. Moments like these break my heart. I try my best to stay composed and support her patiently… but the helpless feelings can even swallow the calmest person.

Speaking of broken hearts…. Its Valentine’s Day weekend.

We typically do not celebrate Valentine’s Day… in fact; I have dubbed it a “Hallmark Day”. You can read HERE how last year I was pleased to get nothing for Valentine’s Day… as my hubby shows me daily in small intimate moments nestled between motherhood & autism how much he loves me.

However, Friday night we had a minor rare spat... when these happen, they usually happen just before bedtime when we are both exhausted from the emotional and physical adventures of the day. Well, that evening was no different… I happened to have a menstrual headache and recovering from a fever, plus I knew I had to be up at 5 AM to go to an important meeting… it was midnight and the kids were still up…

Sahara was running up and down the hall scripting! She then said she was hungry and ran downstairs. Well, because of the fire hazard, she is not allowed in the kitchen by herself… but I didn’t have the strength to get up… I just wanted to melt into my bed. Emily yelled to her father in the other room, “Daaaaad, she’s going downstairs.” He slammed the wall with his palm; it shocked me… which caused me to verbally react, “Did you really just smack the wall? Don’t do that!” I heard him huff only more… we are both exhausted… ready to collapse, but we know we can’t until Sahara is sound asleep…. I snap at him to forget it… he needs to remove himself and I will take care of it… Emily is upset; Sahara is stimming even more… I am fighting tears of anger back… anger at what… not him, not her… but just that our lives aren’t supposed to be like this… I am pissed that I don’t have my white fucking picket fence!! I want to scream… “Where’s my fucking fence!?!?!”

Soon after this, I hear Emily and Dad’s heavy rhythmic breathing... they are asleep. Sahara stays in bed for the rest of the night, but it takes another hour or so to get her settle into sleep. All is still… the alarm is going to go off in 4 hours… and I am laying there listening to the silence of the night… talking with God in the moonlight about this stupid fence in my illogical fantasies.

Later the next morning… my arm hurts… my left arm. I am walking through Walmart… trying to breathe in my nose, out my mouth… chest pains too… breathe in, breath out. I use cognitive thoughts to get me through the store… but inside I am really thinking about my Mom what has vascular disease (she had her leg amputated as a result last spring and had numerous heart attacks over the previous year… but I know it can’t be my heart because soon after her amputation, I went to our family doctor and had a complete exam to rule out diabetes and heart disease… he said I was healthy. His only advice… lose weight. What about the chest pains I get, “Susan, you’ve had them for 5 years.. it is most likely anxiety.” I actually try to tell him I have no stress… have to laugh… did you read the first part of this blog & I try to tell the doctor I have no stress.)

As the day went on, I was sure I was having a heart attack or stroke… but kept saying, ‘well it has been 3 hours, 6 hours, 8 hours, 12 hours… surely if I was having one it would have happened already’. I go take a shower to loosen up my muscles… it works until I step out and see Sahara sitting on the floor surrounded by my raw organic almonds… one in which she is attempting to put up her rectum. Hubby gives her a disgusted look and I call him on it, he looks at me and for the first time ever utters the words… “I HATE AUTISM!!” This is a paramount moment…

Part of me is relieved… I am not the only one. How liberating for him to say it. How healing for us to be in this raw moment together… how therapeutic to acknowledge that it isn’t the child we are frustrated and exhausted from… but autism.

Emily is oblivious to my heavy heart of the day and is planning out a perfect Valentine’s Dance… she has planned out the food, drinks, dancing and presents. It comes together perfectly… Sahara opens her own presents and is excited about them. Hubby dresses up in a suit and tie and sweeps Emily off her feet in a waltz-like dance… the smile of her face… priceless… I am certain it is a moment she will embed in her memory forever… a perfect family moment. A perfect family!!

When I lay down, I realize the pain in my arm all day was from Sahara’s head when she sleeps… I know this because when she laid there again to nuzzle… I felt the muscle screech in pain. I lay there thinking about how silly I was all day thinking I was having a heart attack, when in fact I was having an attack of the heart… My heart yearns for moments of normalcy for my children, for my husband, and selfishly for myself.

I laid there wondering how many other mothers feel like I do… recognizing the inherent beauty in her children and family, and yet raw emotion sneaks in intermittently to get the best of her.

…Today I feel better, more aware of my limitations, my strengths, my hopes and dreams. Today I feel ready to create a new picket fence… but this one isn’t all white and rigid… perhaps it is colored appropriately with all of the colors of the spectrum and full of groves & curves.

… And more importantly, today I feel ready to empower other mothers who may not have the inner-resources I have to pull myself out of the funk so easily.

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Everyday Reiki Class for Special Needs Parents & Advocates

I thought I would post an upcoming event I am facilitating. My 'soul' purpose for this class is to empower other parents and advocate with a simple, yet profound tool we have been using daily with our children for the past few years. If you are in central Ohio I hope you can join us.

THIS PRACTICAL CLASS WILL EMPOWER PARENTS & ADVOCATES OF SPECIAL NEEDS CHILDREN TO USE HANDS-ON REIKI FOR EVERYDAY CHALLENGES.

Reiki is a Japanese healing technique that can be performed in a variety of ways promoting ease and relaxation for the participants.

Be prepared to learn what Reiki (energy) is, how to use it and how its application can assist in the daily challenges of the special needs family & classroom.

Other material covered will include how autism and other disorders are related to the CHAKRA SYSTEM and how MEDITATION & the POWER OF INTENTION can dramatically effect our children.

Dress in comfortable clothing and bring a yoga mat or towel to lay on during the hands-on exercises. Refreshments will be available.

WHY I OFFER THIS CLASS:

They say pictures speak a thousand words.... The left pic is my daughter when she was in an autistic state of catatonia (Note the distance in her eyes). The right pic is 4 months later after consistent Reiki/Energy Work.

http://www.facebook.com/ph

oto.php?fbid=1015029004727

0440&set=a.101502900470454

40.540810.329192760439

DISCLAIMER:

Reiki doesn't cure Autism Spectrum Disorder, ADD, ADHD, ODD, PDD-NOS or any other emotional/physical conditions, however by alleviating some of the major energetic stressors in these very sensitive children, overall calming effects can take place without interfering with conventional treatments. In fact, we have found some of the more traditional therapies to be more effective in conjunction with Reiki.

COST:

Cash or a secure payment via paypal... please reference the email: LadySusan@sbcglobal.net

$100

IF you have a medical card or receive county funding, let me know... although I do not accept those funding sources (yet) I will offer you a discounted rate.

ABOUT ME:

Susan E. Richardson, BS ~ Art Therapy, MRC ~ Counseling, Reiki Master

I have a unique background in counseling, holistic wellness and a variety of energy healing modalities. I have been compassionately leading experiential groups and classes for 13 years. I use Reiki daily with my family and have seen miraculous changes in my daughter on that is on the autistic spectrum with consistent Reiki. My goal is to share this information with others so that they may experience similar results.

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Book Review: A Course in Weight Loss

A Course in Weight Loss

21 Spiritual Lessons for Surrendering Your Weight Forever

By Marianne Williamson

Our body image… or rather our perception of our body image can be fundamental in the development of positive self-imagery within our children and teens. It is vital for us to model not only a positive sense of self, but to work through the emotions, traumas and experiences that might have contributed to our weight gain. This process will unleash the opportunity to mirror to our children solid foundations for a healthy imagery of their own.

I am not suggesting going on a diet and making positive affirmations in the mirror every morning. Besides the concept of a ‘diet’ being a charged utterance triggering emotional responses, ‘diet’ also implies a magic bullet that when combined with unnerving willpower, can get you to your desired weight; leaving you with the faulty expectation that the issue is resolved prompting you to return to your former lifestyle without further action… setting us up for huge disappointment and often failure… only further compacting the psyche of ourselves (and our kids) around body image.

I suggest a new refreshing approach… one that will lovingly persuade you to go introspective into the heart of your real weight issues: Marianne Williamson’s A Course in Weight Loss ~ 21 Spiritual Lessons for Surrendering Your Weight Forever. This is not a quick fix program. In fact, I venture to say that this program that must be done full-heartedly and precisely as Williamson presents it in order to obtain all of the growth and benefits that it suggests.

Without hesitation, I will firmly adhere to the stance that if you mindfully work through Williamson’s lessons addressing the physical and emotional issues residing within you, you most certainly will obtain true optimum health; a balance of physical, emotional and spiritual expressions of the self … which is really the goal right? And as you obtain this definition of true optimum health, you will be well on your way to your desired weight and physical goals without scales, diets and intense exercise regiments.

In Marianne Williamson’s A Course in Weight Loss, she not only addresses our self image and emotional experiences around our weight, but interlaces a deeper healing tool; 21 spiritual lessons that are intimate to the root of your weight issues. As we heal on this spiritual level, our pain which has been encoded on a cellular level is released. This is when and where true healing takes place.

Like Williamson, I believe that our life experiences can be held in the energetic essence and cells of our bodies which then manifests our physical form. As I explored her 21 spiritual lessons, I found myself facing life experiences that undoubtedly resulted in my weight gain. I inadvertently unveiled parts of me that had been dormant within my core for decades that had originated before being overweight was an issue... in fact, they stemmed from when I was dramatically underweight. All in which most certainly contributed to my current self-image.

You can explore these concepts at your own pace; discovering and growing beyond your weight issues… while uncovering the defenses that have unconsciously masked your pain as unwanted pounds. As you venture through this process you will begin to Remember who you really are… a spiritual being, perfect in the eyes of God and deserving of the ideal body you desire.

At the end of each lesson, Williamson presents a reflection and prayer. I believe this is the where the ultimate transformation really takes place. After the sometimes raw self-exploration is complete, you find yourself sitting in silence mirroring your true self stripped of the labels, expectations, defenses and manifestations of your life circumstances. It is in this moment of the lesson that you embrace the authentic you which allows real change to occur.

As we obtain our ideal weight and heal from our past wounds, we provide our children with healthy self-imagery. And it is in our positive sense of self that we can create within them unlimited opportunities to embrace healthy choices and processing of their life circumstances.

“Marianne Williamson is an internationally acclaimed lecturer and the best-seller author of numerous books. To learn more about her work, and to join her e-mail list for notices regarding her lectures and events, visit her website: www.marianne.com.”

Hay House

Amazon

Barnes & Nobel

Chapters Indigo (Canada)

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