F@#k You, Mommy.... a.k.a. I Love You!

I LOVE YOU... Three simple, yet complex words!

They may just be the most powerful words in existence; yet, so many take them for granted. How often do you utter them in auto-pilot? Or colloquial speech… Love Ya?

The first time Emily said “I love you” she used the wrong words; it wasn’t what she said as much as it was the tone, the face expression, and the endearment behind them that allowed me to experience what she meant as she uttered, “Fuck You, Mommy.”

SCREEEEECH…. WHAT?!?!?

Yep, she looked me straight in the eyes and with all of the tenderness she could summon, in her sweet little voice, she uttered, “Fuck You, Mommy.” I am not sure where she learned that, but she used it in the most innocent loving expression and in an instant I knew she meant I Love You.

After I explained those were not nice words, I gave her the appropriate words to use. Somehow over time we took for granted that she had words to express. That is until Sahara came along and never found hers.

Yes, she can tell me she loves me through expressions and actions… but a mother longs for those three sweet words.

This all was the furthest thing from my mind today at the barn, but as we were leaving the stable, Sahara gestured for me to pick her up. I lifted her up into my arms and out of the blue those sweet sweet words filled my essence, “I OV YOU, MOMMY!”

Again, the words weren’t perfect, but none of that mattered for the second time in my life as she said, “I LOVE YOU, MOMMY!” with tender sincerity.

I, often, hear others insinuate that people with autism are incapable of expressing emotion or engaging in meaningful relationships. I am here to tell you otherwise; I LOVE YOU, MOMMY… spontaneous, un-solicited, functional, compassionate sweet sweet words.

Another milestone achieved!!