Autism and Elopement: Finding A Sense of Hope

Wandering

Elopement

Running

Flight Risk

If you have a child on the spectrum these words might elicit strong emotions within you ~ No words can completely grasp the sinking sensation within your being when you cannot locate your non-verbal child!

I hear autism parents chuckle all the time that they are the only ones who lock doors to keep their children inside, instead of intruders out. It is true. If Sahara gets away from me (inside and out) she will not respond to the question, "Sahara, where are you?" We have resorted to chains on doors to give us some peace of mind... that is until she learned how to use the broom to unlatch the locks. She is not only intelligent, but cleaver!!

She has left the house at night once and it was horrifying!! But, it is just as alarming during day light. One time we found her in naked in a tree house near a neighbor's pool. Your stomach falls and panic fills every cell within you. You aren’t sure if you should run in to get the phone to call 911 or if you should start running through the neighborhood. (I have done both!) When your autistic child is non-verbal and out of your sight it is an indescribable experience!

There are horror stories in the news almost daily: Autistic Adult Missing, Austistic Child Found Alive in Swamp, Autistic Resident Found Dead In Van… these are the headlines that keep me up at night (and I mean that very literally)!! This is a constant fear in the recess of my mind and of the mind of many parents with children on the autism spectrum!!

In fact, just before I sat down to write this blog today, I read a news article from Wichita, Kansas where a 5 year old autistic boy was found in a neighbor’s pond, just 30 minutes after his adult sister noticed he was missing. He was in critical condition, but later died. Tragic!! I pray for this family as they go through the unthinkable!

And I pray for all other families that are on the spectrum facing this manifestation of autism!

This is the kind of story I shared with my daughter’s school during our last IEP meeting. I was attempting to make a case for a one on one paraprofessional for safety purposes (in addition to the academic needs). The school is situated near a busy road and there is a pond on the property. The teacher said, “Well, I know you have problems with that at home, but at school she has never tried to run.” Aside the obvious contempt and judgment within her statement, the fact is it only takes once for a tragedy to occur!!

I decided that if the school wasn’t going to cooperate with us, then we would take matters of safety into our own hands. I started researching GPS locators… they weren’t cheap! (Remember, hubby was downsized and we had had no income for 7 months!) So, I called my daughter’s Developmental Disability Case Manager and inquired about funding… she said the family respite services would fund it!! The Caveat…. we would have to forfeit her music therapy allocations for the whole quarter!!

Well, that wasn't a viable option.

At about the same I happened to see a contest posted on facebook via the Autism Women’s Network. They were giving away a GPS locator and one year’s worth of service to an autism family. What could it hurt to try to win this, right? So, I emailed them at info@awn.com to tell them our story.

Our life possibly changed completely via one phone call this morning...!!!

I just sat down with a cup of coffee this morning as the phone rang. Of course, I cannot find the receiver… welcome to the world of tween-dom. The machine picks up and I hear an unfamiliar voice, but immediately recognize the name, Tricia Kenney with the Autism Women’s Network. I sprint to the living room and find the phone on my daughter’s desk… and answer.

I WON THE GPS LOCATOR FOR SAHARA!!

I am not even sure what I said to Tricia this morning. I was stunned. This is a VERY VERY EMPOWERING FOR ME, SAHARA, HER SISTER AND FATHER... THE WHOLE FAMILY!!

As I sat in the lobby of Children's Hospital this morning (Sahara was in thearpy), I thought about all the places and things we could do...

THE ZOO

COSI

FRANKLIN PARK CONSERVATORY

LIBRARY

FAIRS

THE MALL

GROCERY STORES

PLAYING IN THE BACK YARD

TAKING A WALK

PARKS

FRIEND'S HOUSES

SCHOOL FUNCTIONS

VACATIONS

... and the list goes on.

I think about how much we don't do in the community, because of fear of losing her in public! The stress we have between my husband and myself because we are under the constant stress of who is 'watching' Sahara. The sleepless nights because of the fear that she will walk out of the house. The obvious unjust responsibility that her sister burdens. The gut wrenching agony I have when I worry about someone nabbing her.... or worse!!

And as I think about what this simple, yet phenomenal devise will offer us.... I am filled with hope! I am thinking today about how we will be able to teach her better community skills and how we will be able to have more childhood opportunities and fun as these raw fears vanish.

Even the basic ability to be in a different room from her gives me relief... not only for my sanity, but for her personal growth and autonomy. When we were kids we went outside and we learned boundaries, we explored our environment, and we developed real self-regulating skills. Sahara has never had that opportunity... nor has her sister for that matter. Wow!! I am eager to see how this will play out...

Thank you Sharon Da Vanport and Tricia Kenney of AWN!!

Thank you Autism Women's Network!!

Thank you LifePROTEKT!!

Read More

MAMAPALOOZA COLUMBUS IS BECOMING THE BUZZ OF THE CITY

Mamapalooza Columbus is a branch of Mamapalooza Inc., a mom-owned and operated mother advocacy organization founded by Joy Rose of New York City. Mamapalooza Columbus is connecting local women, mothers and families through music, expressive arts, activism and education for cultural, economic and social awareness. This past May marks the fourth anniversary of Mamapalooza Columbus which has not only created a buzz, but inspired a Mamapalooza Committee of Coordinators, a Back to School Event and even one of the Mamas being showcased on Mamapalooza TV and the Museum of Motherhood.

Columbus, Ohio September, 2010 – Mamapalooza Inc.'s ongoing mission is to create authentic, inspirational, large-scale experiences that will reach millions. Mamapalooza Columbus is energetically helping this mission come to fruition.

It was Mamapalooza Columbus 2010 that inspired four Mothers to unite for the empowerment of the women, mothers and families of Columbus, Ohio. Eileen Clary (HandyGirl!) is leading this committee and is credited with starting the action in Columbus as the Regional Coordinator since 2006. Vanessa Abel (Earth Flutter), Joanie Calem (Sing Along and Dance Along) and Susan Richardson (Exceptional Beyond Labels) have joined Eileen as a Committee of Coordinators and have already begun the planning stages for a Back to School event this fall.

This Committee of Coordinators is hoping more mothers in the city of Columbus will join in the fun with innovative activities that impact the women, mothers and families of Columbus. If you have a product or service that focuses on creativity, fun, health, wellness, financial education, expressive arts or if you’re a Mom-preneur, Mamapalooza Columbus wants you to buzz in too!

Some of the other folks involved with Mamapalooza Columbus 2010 were Randi Mockensturm, Tenara & Candice, 7th House Moon, Majestic Belly Dancing, Elliot 12Trees, Leslie Zak, Nancy Miller/Scentsy, Cynthia Minnich/Clearartview, On The Spot Mobile Massage & Bodywork, Columbus Acupuncture & Wellness Center, and Global Gallery. Thank YOU for making Mamapalooza Columbus 2010 the buzz of the city!

Alexis Chapman, Independent Contractor for M.O.M. (Museum of Motherhood), came out to personally support Mamapalooza Columbus 2010. M.O.M. is a sister organization to Mamapalooza Inc., devoted to educating the world about the contributions of mothers both historically and in contemporary culture. Alexis connected with the Columbus mothers and stayed to enjoy some of the Moms that were rocking the stage! Later she connected with one of the committee coordinators, Susan Richardson, and asked her to be a guest blogger on M.O.M. and to be interviewed on Mamapalooza TV.

Mamapalooza Columbus looks forward to showcasing more mothers and connecting them with Mamapalooza Inc., Museum of Motherhood, Mamapalooza TV and other venues to bring the much needed awareness about the impact of mothers on our community. As Mamapalooza Columbus gains momentum and builds a buzz in the city, they will be looking for reciprocal sponsors to become involved as well as the perfect spot to hold Mamapalooza Columbus 2011 in May. For additional information on Mamapalooza Columbus, contact Eileen Clary at e_motok@yahoo.com. You can also get more information on Mamapalooza Inc. at www.Mamapalooza.com.

Read More

GFCF Recipe: Strawberry Banana Smoothie

2 Ripe Bananas

1 1/2 Cups Original Almond Milk

4 Frozen Strawberries

3/4 Cup Fresh Strawberries

Dash of Salt

1/2 teaspoon Green Super Food - Amazing Grass Chocolate Drink Powder

(IF not avoiding casein add 3 Tablespoons Vanilla Yogurt)

Put all ingrediants in a bender and mix until a nice consistency. Serve in a glass with straw. Yum-O!! This is an easy breakfast or snack that the kids will love.

Read More

Wi Active Challenge: Day 5

One of the reasons I was concerned about trying the Wi-Active again is because... last time I got to Day 4 I ended up in the ER and laid up for 7 weeks with kidney stones.

Now you might ask, "What does Wi-Active have to do with kidney stones?"

On Day 4 there happens to be a lot of jumping. I had this thought that perhaps that jiggled the stones loose the last time. Well, last night laying in bed... sure enough my left kidney started to throb. I knew that pain; it is one you cannot associate with anything else; kidney stones. I laid there and did Reiki on my kidneys while breathing through the pain... it wasn't as intense as February's episode so I was able to fall asleep.

When I got up this morning I still had a twinge, but it wasn't bad... I figured I would drink lots of water and hope that one of the remaining 16 stones would soon dislodge and pass with ease. I looked at the Wi.... DAY 5!!

Yes, that is right, I went ahead and did my workout. Why? I figured it could help this process and my over all health goal is important to me. So onward I ventured into jumping, running and boxing....

Okay, maybe not the brightest idea... I believe the stone is big and it is stuck trying to get out of the kidney; the more I exercised the more intense the pain.

Unfortunately, I had to reschedule my rare dinner date tonight with two good friends but am optimistic that the stone will pass soon. In the mean time, I am drinking tons of water and have located the left over percocet from the last episode just in case.

Day 5... Burned 137 calories.

Read More

What Does Blogging Have to Do With It? Grimm's Fairy Tales and Blessings!

Many of you were concerned with my weekend frustrations... be assured that my blogs serve multi-purposes.

Firstly, they are therapeutic - my motto has always been better out than in! When we store our stress, emotions and thoughts we do physically damage to our bodies. Once I am able to get the words/story out, I am able to make peace with it and move forward. (...and hey, this is much cheaper than therapy!!)

This creative outlet has allowed me to embrace autism and life fully while achieving my second goal... I strive to educate the masses about making conscious decisions in the world of motherhood and that included the good, bad and the ugly sides of autism and conscious/natural mothering.

I think that it is important for everyone to realize that when we are mindfully parenting our children, we still go through an array of raw emotions... this isn't a disney film of princes and dancing fairies with happily ever afters... we are still having a very real human experience that, sometimes, looks and feels like Grimm's Fairy tales.

But it is in those stories that lie deep life lessons and ways to resolution.

I have always said I have been blessed with autism and am grateful that my children have me for a mother!! I stand by that stance, although please understand to be in that head space of acceptance, beauty and unconditional love... we must experience the opposite.

Blessings to all of you on the spectrum journey and to those of you who are silent observers. I anticipate today will be a good day in the life of motherhood.

Read More

One of Those Days... WTF?!?!?

So it was a rough weekend... PMS and all!!

The firework show was a bust and stimming was at an all time high in our corner of the world. We didn't make it to bed until 11:30 last night, then the new kitten woke the girls and me up at 5:00am!! It was bound to be a rough day.

The music therapist cancelled at the last minute... but, I understood... her hubby was home for the holiday and she wanted to spend the morning with him and her son. With the continued stimming and agitation this morning I am certain not much would have been accomplished anyways. So I was happy to reschedule for tomorrow morning.

All morning I reminded Sahara of the agenda of the morning that seemed to last forever... Relax, Get dressed, Brush teeth, OT, Speech, Lunch... If you don't know much about autism, routine is important to many of these kids (and adults).

So, when we pulled up to the Children's Close to home and the parking lot seemed much too empty on a Monday morning... I got a little nervous. I told Sahara to wait. Being parked right in front of the main door I was able to quickly jump out of the jeep to check the front door. It was open... whew!!

I nodded at Sahara; she took off her seat belt as I grabbed my laptop and book (Eclipse) from the passenger front seat. Sahara must have have been anticipating OT as much as I... instead of running down the sidewalk she walked right into the building and sat down in the empty lobby. I said to the subbing receptionist, "Sahara is here to see [J] for OT, then [C] for Speech."

I wasn't prepared for the response, "Oh, they aren't here today."

"What!?!?"

"I am sorry, the lab and x-rays are only seeing people today," she sheepishly replied.

"I specifically asked [C] and [J] 2 weeks ago if we had therapy today and they both said 'yes'!!"

Avoiding all eye contact she said, "I am sorry you will have to talk to them about that."

I expressed that I was upset because I not only asked one therapist, but two!! if we had therapy today and was told "yes" we did. I continued that I thought this was inappropriate for therapists who supposedly specialize in autism... certainly they should know the importance of routine for these kids on the spectrum. I didn't get a response to that...

The lobby was eerily quiet... I approach Sahara and try my best to explain why we had to leave right away. The look in her eyes said it all... no comprehension!! Instantly I am pissed, "I expect more professionalism than this from Children's Hospital!!," I snap.

I know it was not this green receptionist's fault... but I was so upset. My child was pulling away from my hand and running through the lobby clearly not comprehending why her mean mother was trying to force her to leave when we had just arrived here.

Maybe the sting was worse because we so desperately needed the platform swing today, maybe because I was looking forward to consulting with the SLP about creating a picture schedule for the summer or maybe, just maybe, because in the recess of my mind I remembered that last sting I got from the SLP.

She was explaining to me how she is going to work in the Down Syndrome Clinic, "You don't know what it is like to work with autistic children all day... "

I must not have held a good poker face because she failed miserably at saving face, "I mean, you get to go home after your appointment, I have to stay here all day, day after day. Autistic kids are hard to work with"

WTF?!?!

Where did she think I went after our appointment???? I am just really annoyed with therapists, doctors and other so-called professionals who haven't a clue what a parent of a child diagnosed with autism goes through. I can garuntee you that their degrees and experience have little comparison to the expertise us mothers and fathers on the front line have. How dare she imply that her JOB was more difficult.

I wasn't surprised when I got home to find a voice mail from the SLP on my answering machine. However, she stated that she had arrived to work and was told to go home because it is a holiday; they won't pay overtime. This doesn't add up to me as I know that she works 12 hour shifts on Mondays, so if she had arrived to work it would have been at 7:00 am not 10:30... a half hour prior to our appointment and a half hour after I reamed the receptionist.

So much for my hubby's relaxing day off with the family. After I vented, we have spent most of the day refereeing between the girls and consoling Sahara in her many many melt downs. In addition, Emily had a low grade fever and was grumpy; I was PMSing; and my dear hubby was ready to crawl under a rock.

Here's to a better day tomorrow...

Read More

Wi Active Day Challenge: Day 4

It is Day 4 of my Wi Active Challenge...

Today was easier than Day 2 and thankfully not as much running as the first two days. However, the first two and a half minutes were brutal. When I stated to run the front of my legs hurt... muscles I didn't know I had. And if I did, I didn't know that they could hurt from exercising.

I am enjoying the structure of the devise and find the virtual coach to be actually helpful. Although I do roll my eyes from time to time at her. Thankfully she cannot see me or I'd be running more :)

Dare I say that I actually enjoyed the tennis drill and dance routine. More surprisingly I find the side lunges fun too. But, the best satisfaction is that I am taking my own health seriously; and that feels good.

I burned 100 calories in 21 minutes today... this whole calorie thing is giving me a new perspective about how many calories I consume... I am amazed how much work it takes to burn the calories equivalent to a serving of my favorite salad dressing...

Read More

Fireworks, Ignorance and Stimming

I was all prepared to embrace our freedom and have a great time with the family. We were going to arrive a bit early, find a remote parking lot and watch the fireworks from a distance to avoid the noise, smell, people, traffic jams... if you or your loved one has autism you know why; sensory sensitivities are debilitating!!

Okay, so plans didn't go as expected... we did arrive early but the traffic was insane. Sahara kept signing for 'sparklers' and I tried to get her to understand that fireworks are like sparklers only in the sky. People were blowing their horns, playing loud music and one even yelled 'fucker' at me when I hesitated to go forward because he was looking down AND heading straight at me... I know it makes no sense to me either. My hubby told me to shake it off... I tried, but his words stung!

Of course I was already feeling on edge... we had had pizza for dinner a couple of hours earlier and prior to that Emily and I shared nachos and pop corn at the theater. I am sure my blood sugar levels were soaring; I was short and snippy... fully aware of it, but I couldn't stop. It is so frustrating to have emotions that you have no control over... really, really frustrating.

Anyways, back to the fireworks... we found a parking lot right off main street which only had 2 cars with a perfect view towards the designated show. It was close enough to have a good view and far enough away to zoom away if needed. We backed in next to one of the cars there and opened the back to my jeep. The kids forced themselves to get comfy in the blankets. Ahhh!!

Being on Main Street we were privy to the late traffic jammers... people can be so rude when the are stressed and overwhelmed. I am certain they lost sight of the whole reason we were there in the first place... to celebrate our Freedom!! But, I had too... Freedom was the farthest thing from my mind.

A few kids started throwing snaps at each other's feet; it would have been cute if it didn't make Emily wish she had brought our's. Then they pulled out the sparklers; now Sahara was even more insistent in her signing, 'sparklers?' I was almost relieved when their supply ran out, until they started to set off smoke bombs and yep, we were down wind!!

Finally, the kids settle down and in whips a blue van right next to ours. They are blaring base thumping so loud my inner core thumped with it. Sahara puts her hands on her ears as I give them a subtle look. All the kids in the van are banging their heads to this noise along with the adults. I am thinking hard how to approach them to let them know that our child has a disability that causes her to be sensitive to certain sounds... I am at a loss and certain I could find no such words. And even if I thought I had, they didn't look like the type of people to offer me compassionate understanding.

In the mean time Sahara starts to hum... I am sure she is trying to block out the base thumping. Five young kids jump out of the van and I hear them using words like "Jesus Christ" "Fuck" and "Retard"... my blood is boiling!! I try not to let it show, but I am sure everyone knows that I am pissed... especially my own family. I am certain I am ruining their good time.

I start to deep breath and ask for patience.

Suddenly a red van pulls infront of our jeep... blocking the exit path I carefully orchestrated. I am okay though.... I quickly decide if it gets much worse (and trust me it did) I could just back our jeep up onto main street and leave. My sense of relief is popped as the 7 people jump out of their van and plop a cooler full of beer and blanket five feet from the back of the jeep... they pinned us in completely!!

Not only were they blocking our view to the much anticipated (now almost dreaded) fireworks, they lit cigarettes and cracked opened beer cans... all down wind. I feel completely assulted.... thumping base on one side of me and cigarette smoke in my face... I look at my family and yearn to protect them. I can only imagine with their heightened sensitivities how they must be feeling.

Both girls found their way on the ground to play in the dirt and gravel... I presume they were seeking a sensory activity to soothe their assaulted systems... playing in dirt is always gratifying to me. It feels so calm to have the smooth grains go between my fingers and palms. They looked filthy and it made me chuckle... leave it to my daughters to find their way to the Earth to ground themselves from their environment.

When Sahara is done she is more agitated than before because now she is dirty and wants water and a towel to clean herself up, "Why didn't I better prepare?!?!" She starts to orally stim and of course our assailants of the night begin to snap looks at us... they are oblivious that it was their rude disregard that started the vocalizations. Of course they are too self absorbed to notice andmost likely ignorant of autism to comprehend the discomfort my child is experiencing. In fact, I am certain that the first van load turned up the base intentionally when the noted my obvious disapproval.

As the loud show begins Sahara's face lights up! Once again, I am feeling tender about a moment that demonstrates how far we have come... prior to this year, she had never taken note to the beautiful shimmering light in the sky... she is breathless and utters, "Wow, it's beautiful!" I well up with emotion... I note to myself that if only everyone could see this through her virgin eyes that they would experience the true meaning of Independence Day. Liberty is within her as autism loosens it's clutches.

Emily is speechless and rolls over onto her tummy. I am certain she is categorizing each design so she can recreate them in her journal over the week. My heart aches at the pain she has endured in the shadow of autism... she takes everything on. I am relieved at the moment of loosing herself into the show. I presume this is why I try to do this every year...

I want her (both of them) to have a chance at normalcy as much as possible. I presume that the notion of normalcy is over-rated and romanticized... but I try. Sometimes I think that it is the siblings that have a more difficult time. They carry burdens with them... well, at least my girl does. She worries about her sister constantly and always puts her first, but she struggles with quiet resentment too. I try my best to support her, but it is hard!

These are the things that wake up my demons inside. I see the rugrats in the van parked next to us... dis-shelved and unruly; talking worse than sailors as the parents throw out threats of physical harm and the kids retort with disrespect. I think about how hard I try to be mindful about everything I do, and how guilty I feel for being moody (probably from the sugar levels I am learning) and I become infuriated at the obvious injustice.

Then I remember, better me than them. I can handle this... I know I can!! We will get through this moment of torture just like others and be stronger and more empowered than the moment before.

The fireworks are loud even at a distance and we are blocked in; Sahara begins to run in circles while humming. I don't even try to intervene... I know this is the only way she has to soothe herself in this moment.

On the way home Sahara was stimming with intensity; rocking, hand flapping and humming. I knew she was trying to calm herself down, but nonetheless I felt helpless. I wanted to make her pain and discomfort subside. However, I know when I am upset I am about useless to her... well, that probably isn't true, but it certainly feels like it. I know I need to tend to my needs so I can be better present for both of my kids... and let's not forget for my husband as well.

I am not sure we will do this again next year or ever... As for today we have less stimming, but it is still present. I am sure her system is trying to re-regulate. I hope someday that others in our global community become aware of the sensitivities and impact they have on this generation of youth.

Read More

A Priceless Moment & Life Lessons Among Monsters

Movie Tickets... $9

Nachos n Cheese... $4.75

"1" Bottle of Water... $3.75

Bag of Pop Corn... $5.75

Raffle Ticket... $1

Pizza... $22

Game Room Tokens... $4

A Mother and Daughter Moment.... PRICELESS!!

I have been wanting to spend some one on one time with my oldest daughter. So, when her Daddy suggested I take her to see Eclipse I embraced the opportunity.

We had a great conversation on the way to the theater and were able to connect during the film. She tickled me pink when she leaned over to exclaim her appreciation for the scenery. Especially because she was oblivious to the passionate kiss taking place as she noticed the serenity of the ice capped mountains and falling snow. It made me appreciate not only her innocence but her obvious connection to nature's beauty!

You have to realize my daughter is not one to be enamored by the romanticism that this movie cradles. She does not have her head in the clouds of boys and fantasy... she does however love a good story full of action though (thanks to her father). I presume she was eagerly waiting for the fight seen the whole 2 hours evident by her subtle movement forward as the fight began.

Me? Well, I love a good romance... and how much more erotic can you get than to be torn between the ultimate bad guy (a vampire) and the ultimate nice guy (a werewolf)? The rawness pulls me in... maybe because my life is so far removed from this. Surprisingly, because I have never appreciated the mysticism of the vampire... even as a young child they terrified me. Perhaps that is why I like this version... they are not portrayed as the thirsty monsters that once harbored my nightmares.

However, I am keenly aware of the propaganda the this saga stands for... mostly motivated by the mighty dollar. I am a little disgusted by the chatter that I heard among women, young ladies and children before, during and after the film...

Putting that aside, I am completely intrigued by the beauty within the ability to capture unconditional love and loyalty captured by Stephanie Meyer in her imagination. I appreciate the awesomeness (is that a word?) within the world of monsters that is created by Stephanie in the twilight saga.

Am I a Twi-Mom? ...Not by a long shot. Am I a little twisted for being enamored by someone 20 years younger than me? ...It isn't the actor that intrigues me, it is the immortality, pain and story behind the character, so no. Do I think there are lessons interwoven within? ... Absolutely!

In a world full of corruption, pain and deceit... we could take some lesson by the Cullens in their unconditional loyalty, love and companionship. Imagine how different the world would be if we all embraced our own inner demons to support our family and loved ones to the extent in which they do for theirs.

Read More

Alterna Mom's Wi-Active Challenge: The Why and Day 1-3

BECOME MORE PROACTIVE IN YOUR PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL, SPIRITUAL, AND FINANCIAL HEALTH AND THAT OF YOUR CHILDREN!

That is my Alterna-Mom motto! I have to humbly say that if Alterna-Mom's Blog is about promoting health and well-being on all levels of our existence, then she needs to heed her own advise.

I have insisted that my habitual tiredness and dark circles are from sleepless nights of worry about my children and obsessing over the details I orchestrate in my mind's eye on how to move forward on helping my daughter diagnosed with autism to become more functional, safe and communicative while advocating for her rights, needs and education. (Not to mention the advocacy I do for my other child as well... raising kids mindfully takes time, energy and planning.) However, I recently took my own blood sugar levels and the results scared me. I swayed between a consistent 123 and 236 during a week of testing.

My Mom was diagnosed with diabetes at about the same age I am now, 40. She controlled it with diet at first, then the pill and finally insulin shots. This past Spring the diabetes finally claimed her leg after an intense year of surgeries, heart attacks and gangrene. I knew at this precise moment in time that I needed to become more proactive in my own health, but somehow we use life as a convenient excuse to resume our old habits.

I have understood that I was already predisposed to diabetes not only via paternal and maternal history, but through evidence of gestational diabetes with both of my pregnancies. However, I believe that the power of our minds, meditation and prayer can trump genetics. Maybe I am not so lucky or maybe I have caught it early enough... fate is always yet to be determined.

I am not one to run to the doctor, yet I know that there is a time and place like I explained HERE. I also am keenly aware that intention alone cannot alter reality. We must be proactive and make healthy decisions especially if we are going to stay around to see our children grow and spoil our grandchildren. I have always insisted that we must take care of ourselves before we take care of our children and loved ones. In order to be more present for them we must tend to our needs.

Perhaps the culmination of the sugar levels, my mom's fate and my recent kidney stone episode has pushed me just enough to heed my own advise. So, I bought primarily fresh fruits and vegetables at my bi-weekly shopping trip Friday night, then came home and pulled out the Wi-Active.

I decided to take the 30 day challenge... easy enough right? Somehow committing to a challenge seemed easier than randomly using this devise. So, I set parameters including my weight... ouch!! I weigh what I weighed when I was 9 months pregnant with my oldest child. That alone should have prompted me to do this a long time ago.

HOLY MOLY.... Can running in place for 90 seconds really make me that out of breath... I can't help but wonder if that is still evidence of my smoking days. So, I use this as a teachable moment, "Girls, see what happens when you smoke?"

My eldest replies, "You don't smoke Mom!"

"Well, thanks to you (I quit with my first pregnancy) I don't, but I am certain that that is why I am so winded."

She says, "Really !?!?," I am not sure if her response is from the disbelief that her anti-smoking mother actually smoked once upon a time or if she is amazed at the honesty that I unconditionally offer them.

I have decided to document here my progress. Although this is a public venue, I think that it 1) will keep me honest and encourage me to continue through the first 30 days and 2) maybe it will motivate someone else to become more proactive in their health...

Day 1 It would have been easy to quit; it kicked my butt!! I was panting and resting in between sets. But my daughters were watching and encouraging me to finish... Did I ever tell you that my kids rock!?!

My muscles hurt... I wanted to sit down and throw in the towel... but I pushed through the whole workout. I have to admit, I was proud of myself... it would have been easier to listen to the million reasons why I shouldn't do this... How can I find the time? How can I find the energy? How much will it cost? Who will watch the kids? I need to save my energy for the kids. I need to get this done or that finished...

I burned 121 calories! That made me walk away from the donut later that day... all of that work equated to 1/3 of the donut!! Wow, that really put things into perspective.

Day 2 It was a more intense workout (and longer), but I was amazed at how much easier the track was in just 24 hours... really!! I still huffed and puffed, but I had better focus and was better able to push through the pain. That in and of itself amazed me.

I burned 151 calories yesterday... again, I was reminded of how much effort it takes to burn off those in between empty-caloried snacks.

It is Day 3 and I am grateful it is the day to rest... my legs were wobbly coming downstairs this morning. However, does a mother really have any days to rest? It is interesting on the Wi-Active it asks you to log your other activities with time and intensity. That includes playing with the kids, yard work, house work, walking etc. I presume I am not doing too bad already because I really do do a lot... maybe it is the cardio I am missing though.

There is no challenge today, so we have planned to start prepping the yard-sale stuff.... that is a work out! But I think later we will do some yoga - my muscles feel like they could use some good stretching.

I think this is good for me... on many levels. Plus, Emily has decided to partake in the challenge... so we are doing this together. Sahara was annoyed the first day... she thought we were going to play golf or fishing (her favorite Wi games), but yesterday she did a couple of the exercises with us... too cute... this may be a fun summer activity for the 3 of us.

Read More